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Debunking marital myths


Text: Genesis 24:67; Ephesians 5:22,25
There are many things we take as true, which may not be true that we have come to believe apply to marriage. Some of these myths are so common that they cut across cultures and nationalities. Now, these myths are so prevalent that they dictate how many people view marriage and ultimately affect their homes.

As Christians, God has given us His word, not only as a revelation of His nature, but also as a manual to guide us on how to live successfully. The Bible contains principles that, if known and applied, will make our lives better. Unfortunately, many don’t study the word of God and so, rely on traditions and customs to direct their lives with the effect that though they claim to be Christians, but they live as unbelievers most of the time.

Myth 1 – Love Is The Most Important Factor For A Successful Marriage

Before I go on to debunk this myth, it is important to say that love is an important factor in marriage. I strongly believe that no man or woman should marry someone he/she does not love. However, the question is whether loving someone is the only guarantee that your marriage will work.


Genesis 24 tells the story of how Isaac married Rebekah, a woman he had never met, but was comforted after marrying her. The principle here is that he grew to love her after marriage and was convinced she was God’s choice for her. Of all the patriarchs, he’s the only one who had what you might call a stable marriage. Isaac’s marriage worked primarily because of commitment based on conviction.

In Ephesians 5, Paul admonished the woman to be “submissive” to her husband, while the man is to “love” his wife. It is interesting to note that he didn’t say the woman should love her husband, but that she should submit to his authority and leadership. From Paul’s standpoint, for a woman to make her marriage work, the primary thing is to submit.

Many believe that once you love someone, it is enough to spend the rest of your life with that person. But the reality is that love alone isn’t sufficient to sustain a marriage. This is because love has the tendency to dissipate and wane over time, due to the pressures and challenges of life. That is why couples must constantly find ways to constantly reengineer their love for one another. Otherwise, that feeling of “cloud nine” that you had on your wedding day doesn’t last forever.

Secondly, you cannot marry everyone you love. Most men love their mothers and sisters, but that isn’t sufficient to marry any of them. There are other considerations that must be in place to make the commitment of marriage.
People who marry based on love alone are prone to be disappointed, when their partner does things that offend them. No wonder many love at first sight marriages hit the rocks, because when the clouds have settled, reality hit them in the face.

I have come to strongly believe that, while it is important to love your spouse, one of the most essential ingredients for a successful marriage is Commitment based on Conviction.

If you’re committed to your spouse, based on the fact that you are convinced he/she is God’s choice for you, your marriage will work, no matter the odds!

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