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Four things to agree on before marriage – Part 2


James O. James

Last week, we began a series on four things intending couples should agree on and I said agreeing on certain issues ensures success of every marriage.

However, agreeing on issues is not just for intending couples but married couples can also sit down and talk about these issues, so that there will be less friction in their homes.

I once organised a marriage seminar with some Pastors in Gboko, Benue State and after teaching on this subject, a couple who had been married for many years sat down for the first time and talked far into the night agreeing on issues.


There are many issues that cause a lot of friction in the home, but the number one issue credited all over the world that causes marriages to break is MONEY.

Money is very important in life and the home. Without money, you will not be able to achieve much or live a fulfilled life. However, as good as money is, there are many things money cannot do for you. Money can buy you a bed but not sleep. Money can get you books but not intelligence. It can also build you a beautiful house but not a good home. So, money has its limitations. Therefore, a good understanding of money and how to manage it is important in life.

The Bible says, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil but the LOVE OF MONEY. So, you need to have the right perspective about money, or else, you will end up in sorrow, even if you have all the money in the world.

It amazes me when I read of multi-millionaires in dollars who commit suicide. They ended up in frustration because they failed to have the right mindset about money.

Therefore, the first and most important thing to agree about money with your spouse is that MONEY SHALL BE YOUR SERVANT.Someone once said money is a good servant but a terrible master. If you allow money to rule your life, you are likely going to run into lots of problems.

Truth be told, there will be times in your life that money will be scarce compared to the needs and demands around you. Therefore, only by agreeing with your spouse on how to manage the income that comes into the family will reduce arguments over money.

The second thing to agree about money is that ALL INCOMES INTO THE FAMILY IS OUR MONEY. In other words, every family should have a central pool of money from where disbursements are made as agreed. This does not stop each partner from having a personal account, but there should be a central account from where family expenses are taken care of. This way, there will be less money arguments.

More of this in my book “4 Things Intending Couples Must Agree on Before Marriage”
For enquiries contact: EL-SHADDAI COVENANT CHURCH, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292; 08182281184 (WhatsApp messages only).


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James O. James
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