Four things to agree on before marriage – Part 6
“Honour your father and your mother; that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God has given you. Exodus 20:12
For the past six weeks, we have been looking at this important topic of what to agree on with your spouse before marriage. Time and space will not be enough to go through the main points, but you can get all the details from my book on this subject.
Today, we will be looking at the last major area to agree upon, which is the church to attend. I have seen families where the husband attends one church, the wife another and the children yet another church. This ought not to be.
Sometime ago, a lady started attending my church, but her husband was still attending their old church, a well-known Pentecostal Church with branches all over Nigeria. When she and her husband started having issues and she asked for my advice, I did not hesitate to ask her to join her husband in his church, as I firmly believe it is God’s will that couples serve Him together.
Why is it important to attend the same church?
• The family that prays together stays together. This does not only connote physical unity, it also speaks of spiritual unity. You and your spouse must be united in worship, so that the full benefits of serving God together will manifest.
• Different churches believe in and adhere to different things, and sometimes, these doctrinal differences can create tension in the home, if the couples do not believe the same thing. For example, there are some churches that emphasise women covering their hair during service, while others do not put much premium on this. However, if a couple attends the same church, they will be hearing the same things, and doctrinal conflicts will be minimised.
• Different churches have different foundations – how they began. It is always important to find out the origin of a church before you tie your destiny to the place. How did the Pastor begin? Was the church a break-away from another church? Who is the Pastor’s spiritual father? What is the Pastor’s personality like? In our days, it was not too much to take time to ask about a Pastor’s reputation before submitting to his spiritual leadership. This is important because when someone lays his hands on you, there is transfer of spirits.
• What is the source of the Pastor’s power? Is the Holy Spirit the One in control, or are there some elements of manipulation going on?
These and other important questions need to be settled before joining any ministry with your spouse because it is all about you making heaven.
On a final note, whatever agreements you reach with your spouse can be subject to review and amendment, as occasions demand. What is important is that there is consensus, so that you will argue less. Also, you do not have to be slaves to your agreement. When you both notice that a particular thing you agree upon is not working, all you need to do is to agree to cancel it.
I declare and decree that your marriage will work in Jesus name. Your home will be the epitome of godliness and peace in the mighty name of Jesus.
More in my Book “4 Things Intending Couples Must Agree on Before Marriage.”
For enquiries contact: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292; 08182281184 (WhatsApp messages only).