Freeing yourself from past hurts
Many of us might have come across people who are naturally harsh. Some of us reading this might even be like this. We try to show kindness but instead we show harshness.
If you have old hurts that have not been dealt with, you are likely going to reach out to hurt others instead of giving out love. Many people that are very harsh have most likely gone through a difficult background or a harsh upbringing. Some have never received kindness so, they do not know how to give it out. Some have been maltreated so, their natural reaction is to “bite” and lash out. Some have been molested and abused so, they lash out at their spouses and others.
Releasing the bottled up feeling through harsh words and reactions to the closest person you feel you can release them to is not the best way to handle your past hurts. It will be very wrong to deal with somebody else the way you were ill-treated.
At those moments when you were being maltreated, you never liked it. In the same manner, no one would like to be treated the way you were harshly treated.
If you are carrying a wound in your heart, the kindness of Christ may not be able to shine through you to others. This is because your attention is more on the wound than on what Jesus has offered you. It means you are allowing the wound to take the place of healing. Jesus gave us the gift of healing on every side of our lives when we gave our lives to Him. But the decision to hold unto the healing that Jesus has released to us lies within us. What should you do? The thing to do is to be healed. And the best way to be healed is forgiving those who caused the hurts and to also forgive yourself.
Forgive those that have hurt you in the past. Matthew 6:14-15. It may not be easy initially, but it is definitely easier than moving about with emotional injuries all over the place. The Holy Spirit will help you to be healed and to forgive if you cry out to Him for help. He is our helper.
Whenever bitter thoughts want to come concerning that person, put them away, and remind yourself that that person is forgiven and loved. A great way to forgive is to personally start praying for the person who hurt you in one way or the other. As you pray, you will feel relieved in your inner man.
Another way to heal yourself is to let go of the past. Whatever has happened to you though meant for evil can be turned around for good and can be used as a testimony. Some things that you experienced might be useful to you in the future. But do not let the same thing happen to other people through the hurts you still carry.
Lastly, look at others the way God sees them. We should know that God does not see our so-called enemies, spouses, in-laws, or relatives and friends that hurt us the way we see them. No matter how evidently deeply they might have hurt you, God is patiently and kindly waiting for the day they will change just as a parent is also looking forward to the day that stubborn child will change.
One of the rules that have guided me over the years is the Golden Rule in Matthew 7:12 “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them…” This rule enables me to forgive and not to wish those who hurt me evil. Love you.