Helping your spouse to be more romantic

Between my wife (Carol) and I, people who know us very well know and say that I am more romantic than she is. In our marriage, therefore, I determine the romantic growth of our marriage. Someone may ask; can a marriage grow romantically, especially when people are no longer as young as they used to be? Oh, yes! A marriage can grow romantically, if it is still very much alive because every living thing grows.

Many marriages are either dead, dying or are in stagnation romantically. A marriage that has romantically stagnated does not mean that such a marriage is full of quarrels. There may be quarrels or no quarrels. But the holding of hands, the sweet words, the kisses, the holidays, the eating and chilling out, the shopping together, the sexual communication might have stagnated or withered away.

I made up my mind early in my marriage that I will deliberately take steps not to allow our romantic flame to stagnate or to quench. Since, I wedded Carol, over 30 years, our romantic flame has stagnated on many occasions. But when it happens, Carol hardly knows until I point it out to her that the fire is quenching and that we need to do something to make our romantic fire hotter. Because I am the president of our home and self-appointed minister for romance affairs of our marriage, I try to make sure that we keep looking for ways of being romantically attracted to each other.  

As far as I am concerned packaging matters a lot. People are likely to buy a product that is very beautifully packaged, but a little lower in quality than a product that is better in quality, but badly packaged. A man of God said many years ago that “beauty attracts” and each time Carol and I make efforts to work on our clothes and our looks, we get more attracted to each other.  For example, as the minister for romance affairs of our marriage, there was a time I had to take my wife for shopping for the kind of clothes that I felt will make me to be more romantically attracted to her. Remember, beauty attracts. Just this week, Carol and I had to discuss a life style being put up by one of us that was capable of having a negative effect on our romance life. We felt discussing it will make us more romantically attracted to each other.

The only point I am trying to make all along in this write up is that, the most romantic among couples should try to assume the responsibility of making each other look romantically okay, so that, their romantic life will not die or stagnate. From time to time, my wife, the whole family and I, go to some of the private beaches on the ocean or lagoons to enjoy God’s creation.

But about a week and some days ago, I wanted to spend a whole day with my wife only at one of these private beaches as a way of growing our romance lives, but we ended up watching a morally instructive movie in the home of our daughter and her husband. But I am looking forward to when Carol and I will be alone at the beach snacking, strolling, holding hands and just deciding to love each other the more. Do not allow your romance lives die or stagnate. Work on it deliberately. Love you!