21 strategies to overcome marital delay – Part 3
Most singles that are going through delay in getting married today were once in a relationship, but some of them did not realise that they were in a wrong relationship, while some kept managing it with the hope of salvaging it, but it eventually got out of control. Wasting your time in a wrong relationship will always cause delay, because the relationship will eventually hit the rock. Many singles, rather than change their mind after discovering that they are in a wrong relationship, will choose to deceive themselves. Rather than calling it quit, they will look for prayer partners to help salvage the situation. So many people will choose to endure the relationship, until things begin to fall apart before their very eyes without any remedy. In so many cases, their time would have been wasted and many possible suitors would have passed over.
Avoid Tribalism and Discrimination
“There is neither Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female for ye are all free in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28). One of the greatest reasons for delay in marriage is tribalism. Some cannot marry anyone who is not from their village or the same locality. People often discriminate because of one reason or another. For example, when I was growing up my mother was so apprehensive of where I was going to choose a wife. I was made to know that there were many witches in some parts of our area. I asked my mother if there was actually any place in the whole of that area or the entire world where there are no witches. Some people will discourage you from marrying from some places because of one or two bad people they know from that area. It is nothing but being myopic to think that a whole nation, state, city or town is bad because you know just a few bad people from there. Just like the western world, some are so bias to a fault; sometimes some of them believe there are no good people from Nigeria or Africa due to some of their experiences with just few Nigerians forgetting that there are rogues or criminals everywhere in the world including Europe and America. That one is from Africa does not make him or her a criminal either. It is what the philosophers calls the fallacy of hasty generalisation.
We had a wedding in our church some years ago, some people tried to stop the wedding just because the brother according to their tradition was said to be an outcast even though he hailed from the same part of the country with the sister. They insisted that the sister who was “A free born,” will not be allowed to marry an “Osu” (outcast). One wonders that such a barbaric, outdated, ignoble and archaic custom still exists in our land with all the wild fire of revival and amazing spread of Christianity in the land. The Bible tells us, “For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth nor uncircumcision availeth, but a new creature” (Gal 6:15).
Also Galatians 5 verse 6 says; “For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth anything, nor uncircumcision, but faith which worketh by love.”
I was surprised to note that those who wanted the wedding cancelled also claimed to be Christians. I simply made them to understand that the wedding cannot be cancelled on such illegal grounds. I thank God because the sister also made up her mind to marry the brother and the brother too, who happens to be a man of God also was unmoved. As Christians we must be determined to do the will of God, we must always follow God’s counsels. Tradition is an enemy of progress, tradition foster stagnation and limitation.
“But he answered and said unto them, why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? Thus have you made the word of God of none effect by your tradition” (Mat 15:3, 6).
Tradition seeks to nullify the word of God or renders the word of God of no effect. But glory to God the scriptures cannot be broken. We need to fight against all those barbaric and outdated customs and traditions in our society. For example in some traditions, a lady must be pregnant before she gets married, but that is contrary to the word of God. In some places they have the tradition of coercing a lady to marry someone against her will, while in some cases a lady who lost her husband will be coerced to marry the brother of the deceased husband. All these are few examples of numerous anti-scriptural, traditions in our society today that needs to be vehemently opposed.
Rev. Solomon Ojigiri, Everwinning Faith Ministries int’l, 31, Oritse Str. Off Obafemi Awolowo way, Balogun Bus-stop, Ikeja
08023036345, 08059203554, 08023997277