By Charles Ighele

One thing that every woman should understand and know as a fact is that every man wants to marry and live the rest of his life with a fan, a supporter and someone who cheers him up. Someone who will encourage him and help lift his spirit up when he’s down. No man likes to marry and live the rest of his life with an opponent, an enemy, an antagonist, a villain, a discourager, an unrepentant critic, and opposition

The advanced dictionary of English define a fan as “ a person who admires somebody or something or enjoys watching or listening to somebody/something very much. While an opponent is defined as “a person who is against something and tries to change or stop it” while the second definition of an opponent is “a person that you are playing or fighting against in a game, competition or argument.

When as a wife you are constantly locked in argument with your husband then, you are portraying yourself as an opponent. When he makes a business mistake and you keep taunting him because of that you are exhibiting the traits of an opponent. When you abuse him and don’t give him the necessary regard that is expected of you, you are posing yourself as an enemy. You may want to ask “what if his actions or inactions will land the whole family in hot waters?” That is the more reason why you should not argue with him or insult him. Look for an appropriate time when he is very happy and maybe you have his head on your laps, you can then bring up the matter for discussion. Or maybe after you have treated him to a nice amorous session, you can also bring up the matter and give your points as a suggestion and not as a final decision. You can also see your pastor for wise and godly counsel. You can also pray about the matter. The Bible says that the hearts of a king is in his hands.

As a fan (wife) when your husband’s decision has brought problems to the home, you pat him on his back, encourage him and speak words of love to him. Let him know that you are both in the mess together. Make him know you will be with him throughout the trial period. Constantly remind him that you will both get out of that problem by God’s grace. When you do this, you are fanning his ego and making him feel that he can conquer the world. What a FAN you are. Remember, every man needs a fan at home and not an opponent. Ask yourself now, am I a FAN or an OPPONENT? Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.