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Essential elements of a good relationship


Chidi Okoroafor

A loving relationship with God is of first importance; but loving relationships with others is second. The Bible is all about these two important relationships.The Bible ranks healthy relationships as the most important thing in life. A Jewish religious expert asked Jesus (Matt. 22:36), “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied (Matt. 22:37-40):

“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”Healthy relationship is the missing link in our society today and that is why there is tension in governments, crisis in our homes, ethnic crisis in our communities, conflicts in workplace, religious organisation, inter/intra personal conflicts in groups of people, etc.

There are certain elements that make up good, healthy working relationships. They include:
• Trust – This is the foundation of every good relationship. When you trust   your deputy, team and colleagues, you form a powerful bond that helps you work and communicate more effectively. In turn, the people trusted should not betray the trust, as there will be dire consequences of such, including negative effects on the organisation.


• Mutual Respect – Mutual respect is an important building block of a good relationship. You should respect the people working with you, value their input and ideas, and they should also respect and value your ideas. When mutual respect and understanding are present, the spirit of synergy inevitably starts to develop.

• Mindfulness – This means taking responsibility for your words and actions. Those who are mindful are careful and attend to what they say, and they don’t let their own negative emotions impact the people around them.

• Welcoming Diversity – People with good relationships not only accepts diverse people and opinions, but they welcome them. For instance, when your deputy, colleagues or subordinates offer different opinions from yours, you take the time to consider what they have said, and factor their insights into your decision-making, where the need arises. They say, two good heads are better than one head.

• Open Communication – We communicate all day, whether we’re talking, sending text messages, emails and IMs, or meeting face-to-face. The better and more effectively you communicate with those around you (including your deputy, colleagues and associates), the richer your relationships will be.
Ways Of Building Good Work Relationships

• Develop Your People’s Skills
Good relationships start with people’ skills. Work on your skills that you need to relate well with people. These skills include listening skills, communication skills, teamwork, critical analysis skills, research skills, advocacy skills, oratorical skills, etc.

• Identify Your Relationship Needs
Look at your own relationship needs. Do you know what you need from others? And do you know what they need from you? Understanding these needs can be instrumental in building better relationships. While you work towards these needs, make sure that you do not put so much pressure on your team members, so that they do not resent you or walk away.

• Schedule Time to Build Relationships
Devote a portion of your day toward building good relationship with people, even if it’s just 20 minutes, perhaps broken up into five-minute segments. For example, you could pray or show some concern with what your deputy, colleagues or subordinates are going through. You could also pay a surprise visit, reply to people’s postings on the social media or other media, attend their functions, pray for them, etc. Do not be too busy that you forget about your deputy, colleagues or subordinates. These little interactions help build the foundation of a good relationship. A poor man with a loving family and good friends is far richer than a rich man who is poor relationally.

In this article:
Chidi Okoroafor
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