I sometimes wonder at how couples bring the weakness (es) of their partners to the public domain. No matter the level of inadequacies or weaknesses noticed in your husband or wife, the option of discussing him or her before people is not a good option. The fact is, everyone has one weakness or the other. There is no one that is hundred per cent complete. I want you to know that your partner is not the first to have that weakness or deficiency.

Subjecting your partner to public discussion is like dragging him or her indirectly into the mud. If she does not know how to prepare a particular meal, do not go around telling your friends that your wife cannot prepare that particular meal. If your husband cannot not perform his manly duties at home, it is unwise for you as a wife to bring the matter up in a public discussion among your friends or his friends. When you do, you are destroying the image of your spouse before people.

When you bring your spouse to the public to disect and analyse by discussing his or her weakness (es) you are demeaning the image of your partner before the people you are discussing your partner with. The people you are discussing your partner with also have their areas of weaknesses and inadequacies that they are battling with which they have not told you or may likely not tell you. By the time you tell one person about the weakness (es) of your partner, that thing you have discussed with that person will definitely spread like wild fire. Therefore, be sure that, that thing you discussed with your friend about your spouse will soon be the news in the neighbourhood or church, work place or town.

It is unwise for partners to make one another the subject of discussion in public. My advise or suggestion is that when you as a husband notices a weakness in your wife, you should lovingly call her attention to it in a relaxed ambience, while you both discuss how that weakness can be worked on The same goes for the wife.

However, if the weakness is threatening the marriage or courtship, instead of taking your spouse to the public domain for your friends, colleagues, neighbours to analyses, you could pray for him or her while you also see your pastor or better still a genuine marriage counselor, while you patiently wait to see your partner become the person you want. Discussing your partner in public will not solve the problem as this, sometimes, worsens the situation. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.