I Sometimes wonder at how couples bring the weakness(es) of their partners to the public domain. No matter the level of inadequacies or weaknesses noticed in your husband or wife, the option of discussing him or her is not a good option. The fact is, everyone on earth has one weakness or the other. There is no one that is 100 per cent complete. It, therefore, means that your partner is not the first to have that weakness.

Subjecting your partner to public discussion is like dragging him or her in the mud indirectly. If your husband cannot not perform his manly duties at home and in the bedroom, it is unwise for you as a wife to bring the matter up in a public discussion among your friends or his friends. The same also goes for the wife too.

When you bring your spouse to the public to dissect and analyse by discussing his or her weakness(es) you are demeaning the image of your partner before the people you are discussing your partner with. The people you are discussing your partner with also have their areas of weaknesses and inadequacies. By the time you tell one person about the weakness(es) of your partner, that thing you have discussed with that person will definitely spread like a wildfire. Therefore, be sure that, that thing you discussed with your friend about your spouse will soon be the news in the neighbourhood or church, workplace or town.

I believe, it is unwise for partners to make one another the subject of discussion in public. My advise is that when you as a husband notice a weakness in your wife, you should lovingly call her attention to it in a relaxed ambience, while you both discuss how that weakness can be worked on. Also, when a wife notices a weakness in her husband she should also call her husband’s attention lovingly to it, while they both sit down in an atmosphere of love to proffer solution(s) to the weakness(es).

However, if the weakness is threatening the marriage or courtship instead of taking your spouse to the public domain (your friends, colleagues, neighbours) for analyses you could pray for him or see your pastor or better still a marriage counselor for wise advise, while you patiently wait to see your partner become the person you want. Discussing your partner with your friends or colleagues will not solve the problem as this, sometimes, worsens the situation rather than solve the problem on ground. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.