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Finding the right partner in marriage – Part 2


James O. James

Last week, we looked at the life of Adam and Eve and how Adam was preoccupied with God’s assignment and when it was the right time, God gave him a wife. This is what I call the Principle of Divine Initiative. My advice for singles is that focus on serving God and doing His will and stop running from one dating programme to another, and God will reward you with that partner meant for you.

Also, if you want to have the best, then first, you need to be the best yourself. There are some fundamental things you must possess to be able to attract the best.

You must be someone who has attained a level of maturity. There are four levels of maturity needed to attract the right partner.

Physical MaturityP
Marriage is for not for boys and girls, but for men and women, who are ready to bear the huge responsibilities that go with marriage. It takes maturity to care for someone else. Caring for one another is what marriage is all about.


Emotional Stability
There are physically matured people who are still babies because they lack emotional stability. People who struggle with taking care of themselves should learn to do so first. If they cannot care for themselves, how will they take care of a spouse, let alone, a home and children?

If a young man is still clinging to “Mama’s” apron strings, he is not ready for a wife yet. Attachment to both mother and wife at the same time is strictly impracticable.

Culinary Skills
Lady, do you cook well? If you do not know how to cook, then learn because some wives have inadvertently sent their husbands into the waiting arms of other women because they failed to develop cooking skills.

However, cooking is not meant for women alone. A man should know how to cook as well, so that he can occasionally relieve his wife, especially when she is heavily pregnant or during the first few years of marriage.

Financial Stability
Many a times, you find men who are not ready materially, looking and praying earnestly for a wife. They don’t even have a bed or basic things needed in an apartment. For some, all they have is a worn-out bed and a ‘one-eyed stove’. Such people claim to be walking by faith, believing all that is needed will come in as wedding gifts. This kind of faith is absurd, irresponsible and unimaginable. Things just do not work out that way!

That is not to suggest that you must have everything needed before marriage, because most rich couples I know started out small. However, it is important to insist on having some basic furniture – such as a bed and a few vital household amenities before your wedding day. As a matter of fact, a one-room shared accommodation should give way to at least a one-room apartment. Also having a steady income is critical before marriage.

Spiritual Maturity
Basically, spiritual maturity is the state where a Christian can take care of himself spiritually and also help others to attain spiritual maturity and no longer novice in both Christian knowledge and practical spiritual experiences. A mature believer possesses at least a measure of certainty of being able to hear from the LORD, personally and directly.
Culled from my Book “The Missing Rib”

For enquiries contact: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292; 08182281184 (WhatsApp messages only).


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Partner in marriage
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