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Listening to your children

By Charles Ighele
12 February 2023   |   4:44 am
In this part of the world, it is a common knowledge that parents do not really like listening to what their children have to say. They feel they have nothing to say.

Charles Ighele

In this part of the world, it is a common knowledge that parents do not really like listening to what their children have to say. They feel they have nothing to say. Some even find it even highly offensive whenever their children say they want to tell them something. Other parents shut them up and go a step further to flog them if they refuse to stop tapping them in order to get their attention, so as to tell them what they have to say.

Many parents believe that when children talk it is a sign that they might grow up to be talkatives. I say a strong and vehement no to that. That child tapping you to get your attention might have something disturbing him or her to tell you. As a parent, it is not just enough for you to dish out orders and instructions to be carried out by your children. You should, at every point in time listen to your children whenever they want your attention. 

How will you feel as a wife, or husband, whenever you want to speak to your wife and she shuns you, or he rebuffs you? How will you feel when you want to speak to your wife and she tells you, “please leave me alone, I do not have time to listen to you? Will you feel happy when your husband tells you, “please leave me alone, as you can clearly see, I am busy/ or are you blind? Please do not disturb me. I do not have your time. How will you feel when you want to tell your spouse something that is hurting you and she/he is passively listening to you? Surely, none of us wants to be treated in above mentioned ways. You will definitely feel bad and sad. You feel drawn away from your spouse and you will definitely not want to tell that partner of yours anything again. You would rather tell another person outside.

That is how you make your children feel when you rebuff them, or you tell them off. All children desire attention, no matter their ages, just as adults do too. They want to express their thoughts and emotions. They want to tell you what is bothering them. They want to have a confidant in you as their father or mother. They want a listening ear.

Unfortunately, because of their ages they may not know the opportune time to speak or to keep mum. When your child runs to meet you after a busy day at work, do not rebuff that child. Instead, lovingly, tell that child that he or she should give you some minutes to freshen up and relax a bit, instead of ignoring him or her. Learn to listen actively to your children. Love You.

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