Love: A command to husbands -Part 1
Love, as it concerns marriage, is a biblical injunction and not supposition. It is a scriptural standard set by the Lord Himself in marriage relationship. Marriage is a sacred institution well thought out by God; hence, the command to the head of the institution (husbands) to love their wives as Christ loves the church.
Many Christian homes have suffered untold hardship and setbacks occasioned by lack of this concept called ‘love.’ Leaders in the church are not exempted from this malady. Biblical and natural love among couples has broken down almost irretrievably. Sensual or sexual love has taken preeminence in marriages today, which is mere desire for the flesh and capable of collapsing in the process of time. Such love is ephemeral in nature and cannot ‘endure’ in perpetuity.
Some families build their love in ‘stodgy.’ This kind of love does not attract any usual interest that should exist between a husband and wife. It is rather a form of love that exists among relations, such as mother and son. On the other hand, some husbands build their love on ‘pragma.’ This is a Greek word and it means pragmatic. Some people marry because of what they see: the educational qualifications and status of the partner in the society. Any marriage built on any of the above principles is bound to fail. This is a selfish love that appeals only to the flesh!
There is a serious conflict between scriptural love that should exist in marriages and carnal selfish love that has crumbled homes. This is one of the reasons many people end their marriage in divorce. The rate of divorce world over is so alarming that the society is now accustomed to it.
There are myriads of problems in Christian marriages, especially in Pentecostal churches. The fact is that many of them endure their marriage because the scripture warned against divorce, otherwise they would have opted for divorce. But the irony of it is that such divorce may have taken place in communication!
Some husbands usually adduce reasons they cannot cope with their marriage. The popular reason they usually give is that their wives are difficult. But Jesus Christ lived an exemplary life for us to follow: He coped with His difficult disciples. Undoubtedly, the twelve disciples of Jesus were difficult. Internal rancour among the disciples on who would be the greatest would have put Jesus off, but He didn’t quit. They were nuts too hard to crack! Even Peter, one of His closest disciples denied Him to His face, but Jesus Christ still loved him.
Notwithstanding the achille hills with women, husbands need to package them according to the scripture. Their upkeeps, clothings, etc, should be well taken care of with joy. This is the agape love God recommends in marriage relationship. This kind of love lavishes everything on the wife. It is ethically wrong and scripturally imbalance for husbands to use their children’s names as next of kin. Or for a husband to acquire property with his name alone, with the exclusion of the wife. This is appalling! The husband and wife are one entity legally and scripturally recognised. Where the wife is excluded in the affairs of the home, it will spell doom, if anything happens to the husband. This is because the husband’s relations will definitely send her packing, because she has no stake in the husband property. Husband should rethink and take urgent steps to correct this blunder and in all aspects of their lives.
The Agape love which God recommends for Christians is found in 1 Corinthians 13: 1-8. It is not based on traditional or cultural principles that have destroyed homes today. This type of love is pure and selfless. It covers the weaknesses in the marriage. It is the most beautiful and a pivot that drives the wheel of the family.
Husband, make your home work. Meet your wife and make the necessary restitutions, and you will experience a heavenly bliss in your home again.
For further reading: Prov.31: 30-31; 1Cor.13:1-8; Eph. 5:25.
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