Overparenting

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” For as long as Susan could remember, her home had been an extremely unhappy one. There was always fighting, argument and quarrel. All their neighbours and church members knew their home was a warfront. Susan, as the only daughter, suffered greatly in the hands of her parents who were very suspicious of any member of the opposite sex she greeted.

When Susan got admission into the university, she saw it as a freedom call. One day, however, a male course mate who was visiting the area where she lived decided to pay her a brief visit. As Susan stood by the gate, chatting with this visitor, her mother came out of the house with a bucket of hot water, which she emptied on the unsuspecting young man.

As if that was not enough, Susan’s mother threw her (Susan) out into the busy streets, screaming and calling her all sorts of names, while yelling for neighbours and passersby to hear. Out there in the full glare of all, her mother ripped off all forms of clothing on Susan, leaving her completely naked.

In retaliation, Susan decided to do what will hurt her mother the most. She turned loose and started sleeping around with men. From her father’s office colleagues to her University mates and even street boys, Susan made sure that her mother heard of all her amorous affairs.

Sometimes, parents in their efforts to discipline their children push them further into the exact trap they wished them to escape from. I have often counselled that no matter how provoked a parent finds his/herself, he/she must always realise that the main objective of discipline is not to frighten the child or vent out personal frustration, but to administer corrections that will add blocks of living values to the child.

As a parent, you must always attempt to control your anger, frustration, among others, when disciplining your children, especially as they start growing older. Name-calling, public embarrassment, street fights have never helped in the development of a child and they will never help.

Love you!