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What to look for in a prospective life partner

By James O. James
22 September 2019   |   3:37 am
This piece is to help youths and singles make the right choice in marriage. As we’ve already seen in previous publications, you need to seek God’s guidance in making the right choice.

James O. James

This piece is to help youths and singles make the right choice in marriage. As we’ve already seen in previous publications, you need to seek God’s guidance in making the right choice.

Having said that, if you’re expecting extraordinary qualities in a particular person, then, it goes without saying that you too should have extraordinary qualities! It is unreasonable for a brother who was immoral as an unbeliever to insist on marrying a virgin.

Many young men in the Church make a mental list of what the lady they desire should look like, making these qualities the only sign that would prove God’s leading! We even find brothers and sisters “sampling” one another and passing judgments based purely on the flesh. It ought not to be so. Some even apply ethnic consideration in their choice of a partner.

Many people wrongly place great emphasis on physical and material factors in making marital choices. Considerations like the person’s height, complexion, and degree of beauty/handsomeness, place of birth, profession, status, and material possessions like cars, tastefully furnished apartment and so on takes precedence over godly considerations like character and the fear of God.

Christian Consideration In Choice-making
Wise, earnest Christians place spiritual factors above other considerations. Brothers, especially need to remember that beauty is vain and so, does not satisfy. Only a woman of God will give you real joy in marriage whether she is pretty or plain. Below are some critical questions to answer before making a choice.

Does he/she love God?
A person who does not love God is a poor candidate for marriage. (1 Corinthians 16:22). Such a person doesn’t have the capacity for true, steadfast and selfless love. A person who doesn’t love God will not love you long and well enough.

Is he/she a generous child of God?
While it may not invariably be true that every generous person is regenerated, it is, however, proven that, any person who is truly yielded to the LORD will be found to be generous, especially to godly causes.

Generous people are those that have overcome the selfishness of childishness and are both physically and spiritually mature. Love gives. Love is generous. A person cannot claim to truly love if he has not yet learnt to give liberally to others.

What is his/her personal devotional life like?
Is your prospective partner maintaining a vibrant walk with God? You certainly will not want to be yoked with someone who will make it difficult for you to get to heaven. It is only an unwise Christian that will not care about making it to heaven.Does he/she have a daily life of meaningful prayers, reading, studying and meditating on God’s word?

Is he/she God’s will for you?
If God truly advises you to marry someone, you can be sure that such a person is adequately suited for you. God decides with the advantage of His omniscience. He knows all things perfectly. He also knows you and every other person in absolute details. Therefore, only He knows the man or woman best suited for you! Always ask the question, is he/she God’s will for me? Experience has shown overtime that God’s will is the best for us.

Anything outside God’s will never be as beautiful, rewarding and fulfilling as what God planned for you. Hear what God is saying and do just that.
Enquiries: Elshaddai Covenant Church, 7, Social Club Road, Off Charity Road, Abule-Egba. Tel: 08080929292 (Calls); 08182281184 (Whatsapp messages only).

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