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My role as a Pastor’s wife in the church and the society – Part 3


Chimezuo O. N. Nwankpa<br />

The root of what our tongue pronounces daily is the thoughts of our hearts.

No person’s character can be higher or holier than her thought life. It would appear as a particular weakness that several women are known as talkative, who cannot keep secrets.

While many women do not have the muscles to fight, they have mouths to talk and destroy their homes and their relationships.


The thoughts of your heart as a woman can be so diverse and diffused that you are unable to walk away from anxiety and worry. Therefore, since your thoughts and your tongues are twins, they must be handled with utmost care.

So, see to it that you are a contributor to the life of your spouse and the society.

Be an addition and a plus to him and the society, and not a distraction, not a minus or liability, for this is the primary reason God brought you.

The Ministerís wife must understand that her role as a mother is not only to her biological children, but also to her husband and spiritual children.

You are first a mother to your husband, because both of you have left your parents and as a woman, you have to play that role.

At my wedding, the officiating Bishop drew my wife’s attention to the fact that she is the mother of the family, especially to her husband who lost his mother to death less than a month before our wedding and the remembrance of her made me to breakdown in tears in the course of the service.

Now that you are a Minister’s wife, you are a mother, a spiritual nourisher of children, God’s children and your biological children.

This is a spiritual responsibility, and you have to carry this consciousness everywhere you go and in your daily living.


You may not look like it, and some of these spiritual children may even be older than you, but that notwithstanding, God has given you the unique privilege and responsibility of motherhood.

Just carry yourself respectfully like one (a mother, which they call you) before them. Remember, you are to mother the people, not to murder them.

Mother them by carrying them in your heart, loving them, nurturing them, praying for them, reproving them, and drawing them close.

Just like a natural mother does, you need to feed them spiritually and physically where and when needed ñ Matt. 23:1.

Live an exemplary lifestyle before your children and let them see you living out the word of God on a daily basis, that way, you will make a lasting positive impression on their lives like no preaching or lecture can.

John Maxwell said: Your character is your most effective means of persuasion,î and it’s more applicable in the lives of our children, both biological and spiritual.


So, don’t live a life of double standard before them. Be a woman of faith, virtue and transparent integrity.

Dr. O. Onu in his remarks about the role of the women succinctly summarised it thus: Women occupy a critical position in the society, possibly not appreciated by many.

As the centre of the home and family life, they are closest to the YOUTHS who are not only their children but also the leaders of tomorrow. They are also close to the ADULTS who are either their husbands or brothers but also the leaders of today.î

Beloved, a good pastor’s wife should not be an economic liability to her husband, the Church and society. She is to be an asset, complimenting the role of her husband at home, in the Church and society. She is and must be a Christian mother, the pride of her husband and children. (Prov. 17:6b).

Beloved sisters, a lot depends on us as wives and mothers to improve the church and the society.

Rather than blame the Church, our members and the society, why donít we do our bit to improve it? As we do it, we will not lose our rewards in Jesusí Name. Amen.

The Most Rev. Chimezuo Nwankpa, Archbishop of Uyo, Methodist Church Nigeria.

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