A day to the day when one of my grand-children was to celebrate his third birthday some few years ago, he and his immediate younger brother were struggling over the ownership of a toy when they came visiting in my Lagos home.

One of their care givers then told him to leave the toy for his younger brother reminding him that he was going to be three years old the next day.
He immediately replied, “then, I don’t want to be three again.” I laughed.

You cannot blame him for that. At age three, no child is expected to master his or her feelings of hunger, frustration, deprivation among others. But a full blown adult should.

When I got married, I was determined never to sleep with any other woman. The following strategies helped me not to commit adultery till today.

• I learnt at an early stage in my life that the urge for sex is a feeling just like the feeling of hunger, anger, frustration and the feeling to watch a football match. If I will not run amok because I cannot satisfy these feelings, I can as well control the feeling for sex. It was a matter of replacing one feeling with the opposite feeling. (Philippians 4:8). I eventually perfected this method. You too can.

• I am a man who cares about a good name and good reputation. Committing adultery will put a comma, or question mark, or full stop on the good name I love to have.

• Related to the above was the fact that I was conscious of what people will think or say if they hear that I am involved in adultery. My concern was, “what if people hear?”

• When I started having children it now became “what if my children hear?” I therefore decided to place family interest and reputation above any sexual interest.

• I also trained my mind to know that every action has a consequence. And I know that the result of extra marital relationship or having a side chick can be pregnancy, scandal, blackmail or “whitemail,” sexually transmitted diseases or spiritual contamination. (1Corinthians 6:12-20).

• Something I started early in my marriage is to try to bring only females (married or unmarried) who have a sense of shame near me. Once I discover a lady does not have a sense of shame, I will disconnect from her. It has never happened, but my plan was that in case I loose my senses and approach a female working with me for sex, she should and would have a sense of shame that will make her to be thoroughly disappointed in me. She should be able to push me away.

I believe that a man does not need to be the best Christian and be religious before he can master his feelings for sex unless his brain is in the head of his rascally male organ. You can control your feelings because the feelings are your own. It is just as you can control your hands because the hands are your own. Love you.