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When a lady assumes a man wants to propose

By Bishop Charles Ighele
14 April 2019   |   3:28 am
Some years ago, I had to counsel a young man who found himself in a strange situation. It was about a girl with whom he worked in the same organisation. This young man used to gist and crack jokes with other ladies and men in the organization, but he was a little closer to this…

Charles Ighele

Some years ago, I had to counsel a young man who found himself in a strange situation. It was about a girl with whom he worked in the same organisation.

This young man used to gist and crack jokes with other ladies and men in the organization, but he was a little closer to this particular lady than other ladies.

After a few years of working together, the boy happily announced to her one day that he had found a girl and that she had agreed to marry him.

The lady screamed, “What about me?” She told the boy she had thought he was interested in her all along. She had thought the boy would surely propose marriage to her one day. The boy kept saying, “We are just workplace friends and I never intended to propose marriage to you”. As far as the boy was concerned, there were one or two areas that made both of them flow together, so they kept gisting. To him, she was just an office friend or acquaintance, but the lady could not take it. She was so angry and bitter that she resigned from her place of work.

A girl once told me about how a boy was showing interest in getting hooked to one of her friends. I wanted to know from her why she thought the boy was after her friend. Her reply was: “I am a lady and I should know.” I then told her this is the error some females make. They think a boy is after them when he is just putting up his normal behaviour to all.

The fact that a boy is friendly doesn’t mean he has a marriage motive. You can actually ruin a great friendship with such an assumption. Stop assuming, instead, allow him come out openly to say his intentions, that is, if he has any. But if he doesn’t, then enjoy the relationship. You will get your heart broken if you don’t stop assuming. Someone said many years ago that ‘assumption is the lowest level of knowledge.’

A young lady once assumed a handsome bachelor had eyes for her, when he started asking questions about her and her background. He only wanted to know more about her. She got bitter and was really shattered when she got to know he was getting married to someone else. She never forgave him.

It was not his fault because he never asked her to marry him, but she kept telling people, “He disappointed me.” How could he disappoint you when he never appointed you? When the lights are not green, stop assuming!

Can you imagine what some boys do? When they admire a lady from a distance, instead of getting close to study her, they search for the girl’s best friend. They believe the adage that says, “show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” He was only investigating.

Will you now say that such a boy disappointed you? Ladies should stop assuming. When a lady faithfully relaxes and waits, the man will surely come. Psalm 37: 7 says ‘Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for HIM’.

Almost all the time I handle matters of ladies who wrongly assume, they keep saying words like ‘ I am a lady. I am supposed to know.’ Yes, you are supposed to know, but the truth is that you added one plus one and your answer became seven. If a lady decides to relax with relationships, she is not likely to get the wrong answer. So, to avoid unappointed disappointments, make you relax well well. Love you.

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