The writer of the book of Hebrews reveals the sacredness of marriage and godly family. God made it sacred right from the time of creation. Though Adam had everything — spiritual, physical and social — marriage was necessary for him because God declared that it was not good for him to be alone. From Adam till now, marriage is the will of God for every man/woman in every tribe, nation and generation, irrespective of religious persuasion. And it is this sacred or honourable marriage that keeps the bed undefiled. With the provision of marriage, anyone who becomes a fornicator or an adulterer the Lord will judge him or her.
The provision of marriage is, however, anchored on the foundational experience of salvation, which makes us to escape judgment, misery, suffering and perdition in eternity for immoral sexual relationship. Salvation is not a new thing or idea enunciated by any church. It originates from Christ, who paid the full price for it through His death. We cannot save ourselves: self-righteousness is adjudged a filthy rag by God and cannot save anyone. Salvation is obtained through repentance and faith in Christ and His sacrifice. It is the change that salvation brings that makes the believer a possessor of the grace of God to obey Him.
No man can understand or obey God’s precept on sacred marriage and godly family without the grace that is received through salvation experience. It is this heavenly calling and conversion that makes the believer a candidate for sacred marriage and godly family. Those who are converted must also continue in the grace of God in spite of challenges and trials of faith, to be able to build a godly family. Whatsoever the peculiarity of the society you live in, the challenge or trials you face as a single or married believer, Christ, the Author of eternal salvation will give you grace to obey His precepts in every aspects of life and preserve you till the end. The reason is, Christ did not purchase a temporary, but “eternal redemption” for us.
Redeemed, we also receive grace to serve the living God. Saved and steadfast by His grace, the believer will be able to fulfill the will and word of God concerning sacred marriage and godly family. It takes continual cleansing and the abiding divine presence to maintain this sacredness. Thus, we must cultivate the attitude of unbroken communion with God to be able to preserve the purity and honour of our marriage. This requires renewing our marriage covenant daily by taking out anything that will strain the relationship, following peace and maintaining holiness with every member of the family. The believer must always be conscious of the omniscient God, who judges whoremongers and adulterers.
God made marriage honourable from the time of creation. Though man, before the fall, was righteous, holy and perfect, “the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” He saw man in his native purity as incomplete without an ‘help meet.’
This first man was rich as everything created was his; plus, a great and beautiful accommodation in the garden, comparable to none. Yet, God declared that it was not good for this rich, prosperous and contented man to be alone. He was happy, too.
Interestingly, he did not even see that he had a need for a wife as some people erroneously query the need for a wife or husband. God is wiser than man and sees the need for us to get married. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” He made marriage honourable, not only for Adam, but for all his offspring, as Adam did not have father and mother.
Christ upheld the sacredness of marriage institution by affirming the divine precept of monogamy that, “he which made them at the beginning made them male and female.” A godly man, according to God’s provision, is expected to “cleave” to his wife psychologically, spiritually, physically, naturally, not allowing separation in mind and affection. Through cleaving they have the same mind, plan and direction as “one flesh.” The believer must not allow divorce or remarriage because “what therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Marriage is a permanent institution and nobody should be as careless as to make it temporary. God frowns at such carelessness and infidelity in marriage, “…the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously…” He designed marriage to be godly and produce godly children, not wayward children who, like birds, fly into different directions after birth because of broken home.
Broken relationships have great negative effects on children who are either cared for by single parents or left to fend for themselves. Whatsoever the reasons (convenience, compatibility and independence) anyone has to support separation or divorce, God says: “He hateth putting away…” Once married, the believer must remain married till death separates them.
God created marriage for partnership; a cure for loneliness, which He revealed is not good for a man or woman. It is within the context of marriage that man’s deepest and compelling urge can be satisfied with his or her spouse. This way, marriage offers protection and purity. “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
To enjoy the partnership, protection and purity in marriage, the believer must avoid marrying an unbeliever as that amounts to unequal yoke. Note that the choice and consequence of choice of marriage partner remains the believer’s. Any believer who breaks away from a living partner he or she got properly married to, and remarries, is guilty of adultery: it is only the death of a spouse that frees the living partner to marry in the Lord.
• Further reading (King James Version): Hebrews 13:1,4; 2:3; 3:1,6,14;4:16;5:9;7:25;9:12,14;10:19-23;12:1,14. Genesis 2:18,24; Matthew 19:4-6; Malachi 2:14-16; 1 Corinthians 7:2,9,39; Romans 7:2,3.
