Please, Help Our Princess!
Popular Nigerian female comedian (she prefers to be called ‘comedienne’) Princess, has set aside pride and called on some equally popular Nigerian Pastors to help her get a husband. The comic who was in the centre of the issue that sent a Yoruba movie star, Baba Ijesha, to prison for five years, for sexually molesting a minor, made a shocking video earlier in the week where she reached out to prominent Nigerian clerics, including Pastor Bolaji Idowu, Pastor Jerry Eze and Apostle Selman among others, asking them to help her look for a husband.
So, if you are a male in his late 40s or early 50s, kind and loving, then, Princess is looking for you. This is not a drill. T4T saw the video and saw a woman who has seen it all, a woman who urgently needs a man to call her own after a disastrous first marriage that did not last up to two years. Describing herself as a woman who would be a significant addition to any man’s life, she confidently stated that she will be “the sweetest thing to ever happen to the person because her partner will experience true peace”. Princess should have been a company’s brand marketing manager because she sure knows how to sell a product and in this case, she is the product.
And just to add to the icing, Princess is currently based in the United Kingdom, and this piece of intel is not to wet the appetite of some hungry, gold digging losers based in Nigeria wey dey carry big bible every Sunday dey go church dey pretend o, she needs a true God fearing man who they will both build a home together. But Princess, in that video, carefully avoided a very important part of her resume. She did not state her age and since T4T had known the comedienne from when she broke into the comedy sector about two decades ago, mental calculations will put her age at about mid 40s- precisely between 44 and 47, so, in fact, she should truly want a man in his 50s, a divorcee or widowed “God fearing” man, not a 40s man. Anyway, T4T wishes her the best and is hereby putting in a word for her on behalf of potential suitors. Princess is a jolly good fellow. T4T recalls those days she was always around celebrity restaurant, O’jez, Lagos, when her career was just kicking off. In a big table of top celebrities, she was always fun to be with. Abeg, potential husbands, Princess na betta woman, na her first marriage naim scatta, she nor kill person.
Zazzu And His Morbid Fear Of Police
WHEN T4T was growing up, he was the little ‘terrorist’ of the home and you can imagine how organised a home of two parents who were teachers was. But the near perfect nature of the home seemed to be upsetting T4T, so, at most times, he would resort to tearing down the walls, literally. And then, his parents noticed that he always melted when he saw a policeman in uniform even if he was smiling or laughing excitedly. So, T4T’s parents jumped in joy in their room, knowing that they had found his Achilles heels.
Going forward, every time T4T was warming up like Victor Osimhen who wants to play a match for the Super Eagles, but in his case, he wanted to bring down the roof of his parents’ house, all they needed to do was threaten him with calling in the cops. That would be the end of the storm. They went a notch further by planning with a mischievous elderly neighbour, Baba ‘Obrosho'(mutilator of kids’ penis) who was fond of wearing a khaki shirt and shorts with so many pockets, to be popping in periodically to act mean like a cop . That was enough for T4T to simmer down completely till he became a ‘small adult’ and knew his parents were playing him but he had also outgrown the infantile revolutionary behaviours attitude.
Why did T4T tell you this short story? He sees in controversial Afro pop singer, Portable aka Zazzu, his childhood fear of the police. What is however laughable here is, Zazzu is a full grown adult yet he dreads the police like when T4T was a little tata! A video surfaced online some couple of days ago where Zazzu who had once boasted on video of being a ‘Baboon, that lives in the Zoo’ and followed it up with a big roar, was seen in cuffs weeping like a terrified teenager caught shoplifting and the neighbourhood watch were called on him. Some voices behind the camera were taunting him. Days after, he was arraigned at a High Court in Ogun state with several charges such as assault of his estranged partner, resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer on lawful duty, absconding with a car he was yet to make full payments of, among others levelled against him. As you read this, T4T can authoritatively tell you that Zazzu is in a correctional facility in Ogun state probably writing a new song he will release upon his bail on Monday.
That was what he did the last time he was guest at the same facility about two years ago after he allegedly had his goons beat up some policemen. What beats T4T is, Zazzu creates a picture of a hard man. He gets into trouble, different kinds of trouble, at the drop of a hat, but the moment the police arrive at the scene to take him in, Zazzu turns into a jelly fish.
