Experts have urged parents and educators to begin age-appropriate conversations about bodily autonomy, personal boundaries, and sexual abuse early in children’s lives to help protect them from exploitation.

The experts gave the advice during the Toyin Falola Interviews, streamed across various social media platforms, where they examined the roles of families and schools in preventing child sexual abuse and creating safe environments for children to report inappropriate behaviour.

Mrs. Ibiba Odili, founder and Chief Executive Officer of Phenomena Strides Foundation and a parenting advocate, said sexual awareness should not be postponed until children reach puberty.

She urged parents to teach their children the correct names for their body parts rather than relying on nicknames or warnings that might leave them unable to communicate clearly about inappropriate contact.

“Training is telling us best practice: don’t use nicknames. Tell them the names that it is. A vagina is a vagina, a penis is a penis,” she said.

Odili explained that children should be taught to distinguish between appropriate contact and touching that violates their personal boundaries.

She said children needed to understand that they had authority over their bodies and that others, including family members, must respect their boundaries.

“There are some parts of your body that you have authority over. That is when we talk of bodily autonomy,” she said.

“You are in control of those parts of your body, and nobody, even your father, your brothers, your uncles, should touch those parts of your bodies because they belong to you.”

The parenting advocate also cautioned parents against overlooking behaviours that could be used to establish inappropriate familiarity with children.

She cited adults who repeatedly give children special attention or refer to young girls as “my wife,” urging parents to assess such behaviour carefully rather than automatically dismissing it as harmless.

According to her, parents must establish clear boundaries and maintain open communication with their children before they reach puberty.

She warned against assuming that sexual abuse could not occur within a family simply because parents hoped to protect their children.

Also speaking, Dr Adetolu Isaac Olatunde, a retired school principal and former president of the All Nigeria Conference of Principals of Secondary Schools, stressed that children depended on adults for protection and could be harmed when that trust was abused.

“I want to let everybody know today that a child cannot consent to sexual activity,” he said.

Olatunde highlighted the dangers of grooming, explaining that perpetrators could exploit children’s trust by offering gifts, encouraging secrecy or providing special attention before attempting to abuse them.

He urged schools to strengthen supervision, review their physical environments and build institutional cultures that prioritise children’s safety.

He also cautioned against the assumption that sexual abuse was perpetrated only by strangers, noting that children could be exposed to risks involving people they knew, including peers and trusted adults.

The retired principal also emphasised the need for schools to educate pupils about appropriate behaviour and ensure that reports of abuse were taken seriously rather than concealed to protect institutional reputations.

Dr Ayodeji Ajayi, an Assistant Director of Clinical Psychology at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, also called for improved education on personal boundaries and respect for others’ personal space.

The participants agreed that early, clear and age-appropriate communication could help children recognise inappropriate conduct and encourage them to seek assistance from trusted adults.

They stressed that the responsibility for preventing sexual abuse rested with adults, parents, schools and relevant institutions, rather than children who might lack the knowledge or power to challenge someone exploiting their trust.