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4 Signs He Is Not That Into You

By Njideka Agbo
24 January 2022   |   5:06 pm
Do you feel hesitant to ask your partner about committing at first because you aren’t quite sure that this is what they want for the long term? Do you suddenly develop cold feet when you want to ask real relationship questions not because you are afraid that this is who you want, but you are…

A couple in love. Photo Getty

Do you feel hesitant to ask your partner about committing at first because you aren’t quite sure that this is what they want for the long term?

Do you suddenly develop cold feet when you want to ask real relationship questions not because you are afraid that this is who you want, but you are scared of rejection? Do you love him but aren’t sure he does the same?

The first thing to understand is how the male mind works. First, you need to understand that men are simple creatures. Ever wondered why a man hardly thinks a woman is not within his reach? It is because his mind is tuned in to believe that if he wants it; he goes for it, sometimes he knows from the first few minutes. And boy is it difficult to know what he is thinking.

Just because life is too short to spend years trying to decipher if he is willing to commit, here are four ways you can know his motive:

Attention

“Oops! Not attention,” you are probably thinking. Attention is good, but when it feels too rushed and overwhelming, then it could be a case of “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing”. This is particularly bad if he only showers you with attention at his convenience, and only focuses on his needs or when he desperately wants something from you. If this is a pattern, then you might be in for a bad thing. 

Future

Universally, people are hardly ready to commit to anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. They can only try to endure, but this in itself will eventually wear out. When a man decides to commit long-term, he sees his partner in his future- goals, plans and expectations. So when he says he wants to “enjoy the flow”, “take things as they come” or feels offended or avoids the question when you ask him, we hate to break it to you, he is likely not bring that question up… at least, not to you.

Sex

People say men are more sexual than women, such that it serves as food. Even if this is true, Steve Harvey, in his book “Act like a lady, think like a man” writes about the 90-day rule. Now, this article is not to say that 90-days strictly applies, but that it is possible for a man who is ready to commit to respect this decision as long as it makes you happy. When he asks too early- say by the first, second or third date, or he passes off casual sexual comments at any given chance, that might be all he wants. 

Not over his Ex

Do you remember Lionel Richie’s infamous song title, “Stuck on you”? Some ex-partners are still hung over the past. It is one of the worst experiences one can have in a relationship. If he still talks about her with a noticeable passion, disregarding how you may feel, then there is a huge chance that there he is not over his past. 

 What do you do when your partner exhibits any of the signs? Be selfish about your happiness. Try as you may to stay, but you will end up hurting yourself in the long-run. 

A man who wants to be kept will be kept. If you see the signs that he isn’t ready to commit, please step away from the situation.  

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