Exploring The Trenches That Is Dating In Lagos
Many would agree that the Lagos dating and relationship scene is currently a mess.
The phrase “everybody is dating each other in Lagos” didn’t stem from nowhere but is the reality of Nigeria’s busiest city.
Many Lagosians would describe the city’s dating scene as the trenches, which is largely accurate. Married or not, many relationships have side piece(s) hanging around, and yes, their partners may know these boyfriends and girlfriends personally. If they don’t, they live with the understanding that someone else is likely out there also seeing their partner.
Despite being a conservative society, at least on the surface, variety really is the spice of life in Lagos. Everyone is open to something new, married, single or dating; there’s always someone else sharing their attention.
Your talking stage most likely has five other talking stages ongoing, and there’s a higher chance of them turning into flings and relationships while you explore the dynamic of your relationship with said person.
Dating in Lagos is agreeably the ghetto, but there are well-known dynamics to this movement, the unspoken rules everyone seems to understand, yet no one speaks about.
The first known rule is “no money, no love.” Dating in Lagos is expensive; a regular dinner date would set you back by a few tens of thousands and hundreds if you like to splurge a little. Whether it is spending money getting ready for the date, during the date or just getting billed, money leaves your bank account, and you should be prepared for that. You’re more likely to find a partner if you can throw around money often. Anything other than that, you’ll be left searching for longer.
The next unspoken rule is the understanding that your partner likely has someone else or people they’re also interested in and are very much open to exploring their relationship with them while being with you. Polyamory is the new cool we guess.
As treacherous as the dating scene might seem in Lagos, many people are still finding love, with the same people in some cases, but love anyways. So, do not be discouraged 😉
Get the latest news delivered straight to your inbox every day of the week. Stay informed with the Guardian’s leading coverage of Nigerian and world news, business, technology and sports.