Filling The Parent-Child Gap: The Non-Negotiable Wants
black family- mom, dad, young child. holding hands
What the ‘Big Bang Theory’ struggled to point out to the world is that nothing exists nor should exist without a source.
Living or suddenly deprived of life, every man has a society he can trace his ancestry, to excluding the gene-edited babies you’re most likely not one of (if you were, you’d probably have the code and you don’t).
It is not uncommon for grown-ups to remember how bad the relationships they had with their parents were and just how much was affected ensuite. No one was there to listen, neither did the child nor the parent have a mutual understanding. It is no surprise that similar traces in society are seen today.
This piece is centred on giving a better taste to the parent-child feud phenomenon rather than getting awfully spicy as the silent voices of children are being exposed to grill out those unspoken faults.
Below are three things that children will never tell their parents.
Communication Is Valued Over Provision
It is not uncommon for parents to rely on the absolute material provisions being supplied to their offspring, but as sweet as this act is, children are not moved by these things. It’s little wonder they never say thank you for buying a bigger car to fit every family member.
I love you, pumpkin! You’ve got this! Trust you! Forever, the greatest fan! Daddy’s always here if you need him!…
Assuring comments like these make parenting easier than taking candy from a baby. Letting children know just how excited you are to have them makes opening up inevitable for them.
If mum knew, all hell wouldn’t break loose. Mummy and Daddy are the greatest supporters. Nah! You can’t get me pumped up as they would.
Parents would have their own little besties rushing to feed them premium scoops even faster than the ‘Guardian Life team’.
Don’t Spare The Rod, But Spoil The Child
Parents are, oftentimes walking on extremes, either enforcing the rod code or spoiling the non-genetic species.
Understanding that parenting is not a one-way street would do both parents and their successors better than the unfruitful choice of staying in one lane.
A lot of children know how important corrections are and are very appreciative when you call them personal drivers, give them extra tee-fares, and even harsh talks, but they are often found comparing themselves.
Cynthia’s mum takes her to the park! We never leave the house; we never do anything I like! You always yell no matter what. That’s why I never bother explaining!
Children result in bottling up feelings when no one seems to be listening.
It’s healthy communication, but are you listening? Are you observing your already shelled egg?
Mummies and daddies, we want to be taken care of. Children are crying. Don’t let the harshness of parenting sweep you off guard. Recognise that children are also humans with minds who feel pain, process it and act based on it.
You’re not raising “a little Hitler.”
Remember, children are products of what they grow up around, so while correcting, do not forget to express love and care.
Character-traits-for-kids
Emotional Pressure-Fear, Anxiety, And Guilt
She’s doing it intentionally! He doesn’t listen! He does things only for himself… (Parental trap 101).
It is appalling to see parents allow their children to become acclimated to negative individualities openly, psychologically trapping them in identity misappropriations.
Children, many times, have no idea why they keep making the same mistakes. They don’t know why the plates keep breaking, nor do they remember why they kept their food flasks in their school bags.
This piece is not supporting patterns such as, children bringing foreign items from school back home, but rather exposing parents to understand that children are helpless many times.
What does the mummy want exactly? She’s not answering and I don’t know what that’s saying.
Putting children in awkward mental positions leaves them scared, trapped, feeling guilty and unloved.
Children enjoy times when parents are clear, precise, and expressive with them, not to them.
Learn to explain things clearly because using the “if anything happens, I’d kill you” approach could be emotionally debilitating.
Sam! Mummy’s off to the supermarket. You’re responsible enough to take care of your siblings, so mummy trusts you to. If you need anything, call…… That would be a better approach.
If parenting was a job, it would have no day off nor a pay cheque. No one has it perfect because man in himself is designed to forever chase perfection, so every intentional step shows progress in this parental journey. Remember, not all heroes wear capes.
March on, soldiers! It’s not that big a deal. It’s just that time again to change your parental approach. Yes! You love your sugar so much that it makes you super careful and rigid, but to communicate love better, one needs to keep unlearning and relearning. Show that love to your child today by listening to those whispers in their actions. Be as observant as a hawk, and like a shepherd, guard your lamp against jealousy.
Put this new superpower of hearing silent-voices to the test and see just how well you can break these parental gaps today!
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