Love and Relationships  

How Long Should You Wait To Text Your Crush Back?

By Oreoritse Tariemi

21 April 2022   |   12:05 pm

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The first few months of getting to know anyone can be tricky, especially when texting.  You're stuck between finding the right words to say and how long you have to wait till you can text them back.  If we're being frank, timing is vital during the texting stage; how long it takes a person to…

depressed sad sick young woman with mobile cellphone tissues at home bedroom

The first few months of getting to know anyone can be tricky, especially when texting. 

You’re stuck between finding the right words to say and how long you have to wait till you can text them back. 

If we’re being frank, timing is vital during the texting stage; how long it takes a person to reply often determines whether or not they’re interested in you. And at the same time, texting back immediately may also signify over-enthusiasm, which sometimes could also be a turnoff. 

This brings about the dilemma of finding the right time to say something because you don’t want to turn off your partner by acting aloof or disinteresting them with your enthusiasm. And births the question; how long should you wait before texting your crush back?

Plotting 

While planning your responses might seem like a reasonable way to diffuse the tension of figuring out if you should text your crush back as soon as you get their message, it may not be an effective way to establish a genuine connection. Think of it this way, for instance; you decide to wait an hour after every text to respond; what happens when you’re having or at least trying to have a much deeper conversation? Do you stick to the rules or break them? And of what use are these rules if you’ll break them every time you need to speak to them?

This form of “game-playing” builds uncertainty, and since humans often seek resolution and clarity, it isn’t the best way to approach the talking stage. By game-playing, all you are doing is creating a situation that leaves your partner unsure of where they stand, building insecurity and dwindling trust. 

It is a form of manipulation that may work for a while and is not sustainable. 

Reality 

How long you wait to reply to a text would likely not turn off anyone with a genuine interest in you. In fact, those that respond positively to game-playing are more likely in it for the chase and are only showing interest for the wrong reasons. 

These games only work for a little while and would only keep them interested until they get what they want or don’t. 

It’s perfectly okay to text your crush back within minutes of receiving their text or when you have the time to. 

But

If you’re still worried about seeming too available, you should take some time to understand what kind of texter they are, how long they take to respond to your messages, and if they text first. You should also focus on other things rather than waiting round the clock for them to respond. 

If you still have doubts, mirroring their texting frequency could be a safe way to approach this. However, once you notice that it doesn’t come off as productive, it’s time to have ‘that’ conversation and communicate your feelings regarding their texting frequency. 

There’s no right or wrong time to text anyone back.

Doing things naturally is the way to go; make your intentions clear towards them; go the extra mile if they matter to you.