If Nigerians Were Robots, What Would Become Of Us?

Robots are machines that have just one function- collect information and process the information. Their will, if they had any, is to do their users every whim.

Have you ever heard of a robot carrying out a personal mission? Well, probably in sci-fi films where Arnold Schwarzenegger plays “The TERMINATOR” but certainly not in real life. Artificial intelligence has gone so far as to create learning robots, but humans are still involved in creating its mainframe and software, and these robots are still far from being anything like their mould, humans.

So let me take you to another multiverse, far into the future, to a people called Nigerians who were robots. A world where there will be no free will and everyone has a definite goal —-progress— programmed into their minds by their maker. What would happen to our lives, if we became like them?

How would an average Nigeria be?

Robots are machines made to achieve the same result under the same conditions. Which means if the input is progress, under the same conditions, all our output will be progress. Have you ever imagined a world with 98.9 % of excellence, and I don’t mean the after-life, I mean the world you are in now, without the glitches of constant failures in power, medical and political structures, that have become a part of our life? Nigeria won’t be known just for having the largest labour force but the most effective, highly trained and sophisticated one ever seen. Our next gen will never be referred to as a lazy Nigerian youth because laziness will never be a line of code in our program, we would never be jobless because we have the most up-to-date life coping skills apk. ever created and the average Nigerian will never know poverty as an output because under the same conditions the average Nigerian will produce the output of progress, alone.

What would happen to our lives?

In comparison to being frustrated citizens of the “poverty capital,” we would be in a structured utopian society. With ‘perks’ such as the provision of amenities promised by the government, organised databases for payment of all salaries on time and the pierce de resistance; actual functioning facilities.

We would be rid of corruption, the moral flaw that can only be conceived in humans or are there humans out there without it? Can you imagine believing the police is actually your friend? Have you ever imagined not waking up in the morning to curse the government on the increase of debt we owe to the aliens?
Do you want the life of these Nigerians in another multiverse?

What would become of our economy?
You probably already know the answers to this question. It can be explained in just two words; developed economy. Finally problems such as mismanagement of human and material resources, corruption and bad leadership at all levels would be overcome, and with its vast resources, Nigeria would finally join the ranks of third world countries.

Well, this persuasive piece makes being a robot sound like a perfect solution, but the only problem here is, there won’t be diversity in our economy, in our way of life and in our people. Thanks to the singular thought patterns of robots towards a singular problem, we would all be the same, no creativity, no various mediums of expression and no freedom of expression.

Being able to express yourself is what makes you who you are, and the fundamental clause that makes you human. We certainly don’t need to give up this right by being robots before things can be 9.98% excellent like in the other Nigeria.

In another world far, far away, there stood a mighty country named Nigeria, diverse in culture, people and economy. And by channelling all these differences this country waxed strong and became a world order.

I don’t know what feels like a better ending for you, but this is mine.

Other questions such as, “would we still have Burna Afrobeat and other genres or we would have to serenade ourselves with the melodies of 0’s and 1’s? Would we ever experience the magic of fried plantain and egg or we would stick to savouring data, bolts and nuts as a delicacy?