Matchmaking: Renewed Hope For Love Seekers
The season of love is ascribed to February, as it is the month most famous for the celebration of “Valentine’s day’.This day is set aside for cupid struck individuals using this day to strengthen the bond that exists between them. However, in cases of boy meets girl, there are several circumstances that lead up to the coupling.
Some couples meet by accident, which appear orchestrated by the Cherubs ready to shoot out their targeted cupid arrows. However, in some other cases just like that of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, it is not an accident for some who have to be paired by friends and loved one’s (matchmaking) and then gradually find love in the process.
In this edition on finding love the matchmaking way, readers of Guardian Life share their varying perspective on this culture of matchmaking in their respective relationships.
Well, I’ve had my fair share of matchmaking but unfortunately genotype was an issue.
So, I was introduced to this guy in my final year in the University and I liked him a lot and he liked me too, so it was not one-sided. But then we discovered our genotype was AS and as such, we could not get married. Initially, he lied about his genotype because he really liked me and did not want to lose the relationship. But along the way he cut off communication with me. I guess he could not man up with the truth. Anyways, I found out from the friend who introduced us what his major reason was and that was how our story came to an end.
The second experience was a really fine gentleman. This time around my sister did the matchmaking because the guy in question was her colleague at work and she felt he was such a good person. When we went on our first date, I popped the ultimate question about genotype; I don’t usually waste time asking because I already know mine and in other not to develop feelings so taking the decision to path ways won’t be so hard. He was truthful about it and said he was AS so the relationship ended on the first date. He was a little persuasive saying there are technologies and ways to medically detect a baby’s genotype while in the womb, and, if the baby turns out to be SS then the pregnancy will be terminated. I vehemently refused because I wasn’t ready to go through all that because of love. Besides, my faith frowns against abortion.
Jude & Chinwe
I will begin with the obvious that we are married and our marriage which has blossomed for 10-years🥰🥰🥰 is a product of match making. Now, my sister-in-law and her husband are the brains behind this match making to her brother. I was based in Abuja and Jude had to travel all the way for our first meeting. He was pleasant and sweet the same way he appeared while we were just talking and chatting, so we instantly connected. At that time though, I had two other love interests staying in Abuja like I was, making it not easy for me to fully commit. The fact that Jude stayed in Lagos was kind of a barrier in the relationship and made me somehow not too serious even though I knew something was there. However, thinking about it, I will say the odds were against the other guys because there was this coincidental connection that made things work in my husband’s favour. His mother and my mother used to be friends while they were younger but school/marriage took them to different paths. Again, we were from the same hometown. So, the help of my parents and the pressure from the matchmakers, being Jude’s sister and also the little hitches I experienced with the other guys, made me finally give full attention to him. And the dude didn’t waste any time to do the needful and we got married. I can say that despite the fact that we were introduced, I do not regret choosing him.
Matchmaking has always been useful amongst tight knit communities and gatherings…although some might regard it as a process of “choosing” the perfect date or spouse.
Albeit the pros and cons of most other relationships built on random meetings, the parties involved in the matchmaking tend to reside within the comfort zones of the couple involved. Personally, I think the closer you are to the matchmaker(s), the better your chances of being matched with the “perfect” other.
I actually know some couples who had their matchmaking initiated by the church they were both attending.
Religion has had its own shares of bringing people together and rendering them apart, no doubt, but nonetheless it’s regarded as one of the trusted pillars of relationship.
On a personal note, I would not advise or want to link people up, because personally, I keep to myself when it comes to relationships. I expect the same from my friends.
There’s always a possibility of the relationship not working out -humans tend to remember the bad things more than the good- and I might find myself being considered responsible for a matchmaking gone wrong.
I am in my late 30’s and I have been married for 3-years. We had a worker named Juliet working in our family business who had been so good to my family. This made my parents start a matchmaking process between us. I even think that this was because of the affection my parents had for her and sort of felt pity about what happened to her.So, in her case, she became pregnant for her boyfriend but he did not take responsibility for the pregnancy. Then my parents started poaching her for me after years of being alone with the child. At first, I did not see her in that light and somehow, because of the influence of my parents and me wanting to make them happy, I gave in and we eventually started dating.
Now, a couple of years down the line, I do not particularly feel happy because I am aware that I do not love her. This makes me angry and I snap at her for any little thing. The feeling of being trapped with her has become overwhelming that I do not know what the future looks like for us. Despite all my tantrums, Juliet is still calm, and she still cares for my parents even though she is on her own and still maintains the relationship that she has with my parents. So, my case of being paired with a significant other by others is not a thing I will want to advise another to allow happen to them. You know that gone are the days when this used to happen and the marriages still turn out alright.
I am in my mid twenties and I have met Seun, my fiancé, for the past 5 years through the means of matchmaking. Our meeting had been nothing short of coincidental. I had travelled from my place of residence in Lagos to my home town in Ibadan to visit my mother for the weekend. I had boarded the bus for Ibadan, with the intent of minding my own business. However, as soon as the bus began moving, the conductor started making a joke that the passenger who was beside me resembled my future husband. The conductor had said this because he noticed that his complexion was fair while mine was quite dark. The joke had embarrassed me, causing me to look at the passenger in question. The passenger, as if awaiting my glance, had smiled in sympathy. That was how we began the relationship journey! Ever since that strange encounter, we had become inseparable.
Chiemeka and Beatrice
I was not matched in the real sense of it; like I do not know this person or I have never met this person before and were then linked through a mutual connection who said “I think this person will be a good fit for you”. Beatrice and I belonged to the same social group, it was not a case of not knowing who she was. I saw her and liked her but she was in a relationship and I did not know if it would work out. So what our mutual friend Theresa did was to be an extra motivation for me to pursue Beatrice because she was privileged to know that I liked Beatrice and she felt the same way too. Theresa was at it saying that Beatrice and I were a good fit, so, it was like a confirmation. It was a matchmaking just the fact that she did not find her and recommend her instead it was more like a facilitation. Through the whole step of the relationship before it really took off Theresa was through it all.
But for matchmaking I am not a big fan of but a fan in the sense that if you know someone so well you could say “oh i think this person will be good for you I think you guys will make a good couple”. I just do not like matchmaking in the sense of the old school kind where perhaps a mother will find one lady in the village for her son who is working in the city. Or maybe a man is abroad and he is told there is one lady here who can be your wife and its cemented. The bottom line is that if you see two people that you feel could go together, facilitate, allow them linkup, allow them meet. Tell them what they have in common and bring it together. Put them in that kind of situation, be a facilitator, a hub for them to link up through their common interests, don’t make it robotic. Matchmaking does work though because I have cousins who married through the process.