LEMU advocates healthy marriage in Muslim homes

Due to the prevalence of spousal abuse in the society with no sign of reducing, Lekki Muslim Ummah (LEMU) has called for healthy marriage in Muslim homes.

During the group, Quarterly Da’wah Workshop themed ‘towards a happy Marriage’ Muslim clerics rub mind, share thought on how marital bliss can be achieved in matrimonial homes.

Singles and married couples at the seminah were admonished on how a successful marriage can be achieved.

Among speakers at the seminar, the Chief Imam of LEMU, Shaykh Ridwan Jamiu, during his presentation on ‘Sustaining love in your marriage’ said love is the foundation of marriage while hatred makes a relationship to dilapidate.

“Love draws lover to each other, while hate distances couple from one another by becoming estranged, ending up in divorce or separation”.

He noted that problems arise when the objectives of marriage are not met in a relationship. “Unmet expectations are often a challenge in marriage. Allah refers to marriage as a challenging commitment; couple must therefore be prepared for adjustment and a problem-solving mentality.

“Couples must learn to live life as it comes without undue comparison. That is how to engender love and sanity in marriage’.
He added that, option of separation could be considered when all efforts to salvage a relationship have been exhausted.

“Couples are meant to be friends and partners. Friendship and partnership require humility, cooperation not competition except in winning Allah’s love and in righteousness, generosity, forgiveness, and trust.
“Leadership in marriage belongs to the husband. Leadership in the family belongs to both parents.

Imam Nojeem Jimoh, said being a pious Muslim does not guarantee a happy marriage because all marriage comes with their challenges. ‘Most marriage become unsuccessful due to how it was manage. Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape couples into a better Muslim parent and role model

The Director, Office of Public Defender, Lagos State Ministry.Of Justice, Alhaja Mariam Adeyemi, said many marital difficulties are caused by control and rule stratagem.

“A shift in this attitude of gender equality as human beings causes an imbalance in marital relationships leading to dysfunctional marriages. Whenever one party considers that they are superior or above the law there is a power shift which may subsequently lead to misuse or abuse of that power. As a result, the less valuable partner is seen as an easy prey

Noting that, the larger percentage of women with psychiatric illness is as a result of domestic violence which also has long effects on the children of such marriages.

‘Domestic violence is a deliberate act of the perpetrator against the victims. Separation in marriage as a result of domestic violence also affects the children.

She advised couples with cases of extreme violence to leave the home and see seek help immediately.

She urged religious organization to establish shelters for protective custody of survivors. Noting that there is no single Islamic rehabilitation home in Lagos. “We need to establish Muslim orphanages and shelters where we can promote Islamic doctrines,” she said.

The Executive Director, Jaiz Bank, Ustaz AbdulFattah Amoo said spousal scarcity is real and has to be dealt in the way Allah and His Rasol have prescribed for Muslims.

“Muslims who truly believe in Allah and the last day cannot cut corners, whereas some other people can satisfy their needs in a sinful manner,

He mentioned factors responsible for spousal scarcity as fornication, socio-economic issues, Issues of compatibility concerns,
misplacement of priorities, financial difficulties (high rate of unemployment/under-employment),
parent’s biases and marriage to non-Muslims

To end spousal scarcity, he suggested that Muslim community should consciously create platforms that provide halal forums, which will facilitate the meeting of prospective couples, avoid stereotypes as much as possible and Polygyny a practical and credible option provided by Allah as one of His favours should be encourage.