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Coping With Your Spouse’s Midlife Crisis

Everyone seems to think having a midlife crisis is a bad thing, whereas this isn’t necessarily the case. While this period is often marked by one making very dramatic lifestyle changes, and doubting decisions made in the past, it doesn’t always have to be a negative experience. Sometimes one’s midlife crisis leads to the broadening of one’s horizons and a quest to learn something new. There might be a problem if you start to notice your spouse behaving erratically or moody at work or home. No cause for alarm though.


Avoid being Judgey

It’s never really in good taste to be judgemental when a spouse is expressing interest in something new. Chances are, this new interest is something they’ve wanted to do for a while but always found one reason or the other not to do it. Now that they’ve finally decided to go ahead and live a dream, the last thing they need is for you to tear down their idea.

Stay Calm; Don’t Freak Out

Is your spouse doing something very alarming and out of character? Freaking out isn’t going to do anything except probably put your lover on the defensive side. The best thing to do is to stay calm and seek a solution to the situation. If this new behaviour is making you uncomfortable or putting you at risk, it would be better to calmly explain this to your spouse.

Recognise that your spouse is afraid

In most cases, a midlife crisis is brought about by fear. It could be a fear of never achieving his life’s dream, or her fear of aging. Perhaps your spouse is worried about what retirement holds as it looms closer. Whatever the case is, your response should include sympathy, understanding, and respect for whatever fear is being dealt with.

Always be attentive

This applies for women as much as it does for men. Because we may not be accustomed to our men really expressing their emotions, it is easy to overlook emotional struggles they may be having. A number of marriages end during a midlife crisis because couples lose their connection. The easiest way to avoid this is to pay attention to each other and help each other through the emotional turmoil.

If you can’t beat ‘em, Join ‘em

What would be the worst thing that could happen if you indulged your spouse in his/her midlife crisis activities? As far as I’m concerned, if you aren’t hurting anyone, this is the prime time to have some fun with your spouse. Go shopping together, let him buy that new car, and maybe finally try out that fantasy role play he’s been talking about. No harm in your spouse wanting to go back to a time when he/she was much younger and felt more alive. It’s not like either of you is getting any younger. Because if you don’t do these things together, chances are your spouse will find someone else to do it with. And we don’t want that.

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