Comedian and television host, Teju Oyelakin, popularly known as Teju Babyface, has told men never to confess to their wives or partners if they cheat, insisting that such confessions only damage marriages.
Teju gave the advice in a video he shared on YouTube on Monday, where he described confession of infidelity as one of the “most catastrophic and damaging” things a person could do in a relationship.
According to him, many men deceive themselves into believing that confessing their affair is an act of honesty, when in reality, they are only trying to free themselves of guilt at the expense of their wives.
“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife, especially men, if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he said.
“It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life.”
The entertainer, who is also the host of The Teju Babyface Show, said people often twist the meaning of confession by quoting the Bible, stressing that such confessions are meant for God and not humans.
“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven. Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it,” he stated.
Sharing from his own past, Teju revealed that before marriage, he once cheated in a serious relationship and confessed, a decision he admitted was not out of sincerity but self-sabotage.
“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship,” he said.
“If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty, that was cowardice.”
The comedian added that confessions hardly heal relationships, as they only create deeper wounds and permanently break trust. He cited the example of a friend whose marriage has been haunted for over 15 years because of a single confession made early on.
“I have a friend who cheated on his wife 15 years ago, confessed in their first year of marriage, and to this day she still holds it over his head. He’s still suffering from that confession,” he revealed.
Teju emphasised that true repentance comes from a change in behaviour and not from telling one’s partner.
“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he said.
He concluded by noting that one mistake does not define a man as a habitual cheater, advising men to learn from their errors instead of destroying their homes through confession.
“The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he said.
“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions, don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”
