Emotionless sex and no affection…Is cheating my only option to saving my marriage?

I’ve been with my husband for five years and married for two. I’m at the end of my rope. I took on a lot of the weight with this issue because my last relationship ended pretty badly and I didn’t really date for about four years before my husband. I’m a very independent, outspoken and strong willed woman and didn’t stand for a lot of foolishness.

However, I was ready to change when I met my husband and I had years to face myself in the mirror and became very familiar with my flaws.

The quality of sex was not an issue in the beginning but he was a once-a-week and I was more three-four-times a week person. At the time, I thought we could work around it but it only got worse and then the excuses started.

We argued a lot. “You’re too outspoken”, “I can’t do it while you’re pregnant”. I was confused, sad, and hurt. I believed him, I thought I must be provoking him.

By most standards I’m an attractive woman and very self-sufficient. I tore myself apart inside and out; I questioned my past partners and even talked to him about his sexuality and ability to perform.

I changed and most of it was needed changes but the emptiness I still feel is destroying me. The problem is, there is no cheating (believe me, I have searched).

He’s not a terrible guy and I see him trying to change but it’s not natural. When I kiss him, he stands there, when I hug him his arms just dangle by his side.

In the bed, there’s this invisible line his side/my side. He likes to sleep on the sofa and after years of bordering, he finally got to the point and gets in the bed at 2,3,4 am in the morning when clearly I’m asleep.

No cuddling, unless I initiate and even then he lay there like I’m molesting him. No foreplay now that the sex is back to one time a week (if I’m lucky) but better then 40-60 days between it used to be.

I know he is trying and I see his slow progress but I’m 37, thirsty for sexual excitement, some foreplay, sweet talk in the bed at night, oral anything at this point.

I love my husband and I want all of this with him… I’m very attracted to him and it kills me to step out on my marriage because I can work around a lot but I’m lonely, desperate, confused, and I’ve argued and talked myself to death.

He says he loves me and I believe him, he won’t leave and I used to try and force him to leave (which I stopped doing) because I couldn’t understand why he wanted to stay with a woman he couldn’t touch or be with sexually. I have a person in mind to sleep with and I really want give it a go but I feel guilty.

Part of me wants him to get jealous and change but the reality is it may back fire… I feel trapped and foolish…Is this what I’m reduced to? Advice: Please dear readers mail your comments, reactions or true love stories, quiz or personal experience u wish to share to this email: simonclar