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What to do when your wife starts to cry


It is a universal fact that women cry more easily than men, and this gets on many husbands’ nerves. Many do not know what to do with a crying wife. What many men can hardly tolerate is when the reason for the tears is too “minor” or looks childish. What some do is to walk out or “quarrel more” with words such as “stop crying like a baby. Now, tell me exactly why you are crying. Give me just two reasons why you are crying in the absence of which I will conclude that you are just shedding crocodile tears. Every little thing cry cry cry. You better grow up and stop behaving like a baby.”

With words like these, the tears increase, sometimes coupled with screams. When some husbands try to force themselves to hold their crying wives, they only hold her physically and not emotionally with words like “okay it is enough. I say it is enough. You are sill crying. You want neighbours to hear? I say it is enough.” I refer to these types of husbands as “miserable comforters.” Job 16:2. Every male (married and unmarried) should know that God wired the man and woman differently. Some of the differences are genetic. For example, there is more water in the female blood than in the male blood, whereas the red blood cells (through which oxygen is supplied to the body) are more in the male than in the female.


Women are more delicately wired emotionally than men and are supposed to be handled with care. They put almost all their emotions into everything they do or say, while men put more of their brains, until it may gradually partly or fully get to the emotions. Love means so much to the normal woman. She gives out so much of it through carrying of pregnancy, baby care, cooking, etc. She, therefore, expects her “love tank” to be constantly refilled by her husband through sweet words, appreciation and tender care. They want attention and love attached to almost every issue at stake, and tears can come at any time when they feel they are being deliberately denied of love and attention. Love is a very delicate thing. It is very tender and should be delicately handled, as far as the marriage arena is concerned. No wonder 1 peter 3:7 says” likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to KNOWLEDGE giving honour unto the wife as unto a WEAKER vessel and heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.”

Take note of the words “according to knowledge” and “weaker vessel.” The word ‘weaker vessel’ simply means delicate, tender, sensitive, etc. Just as the woman’s body is delicate, tender and sensitive to physical assaults, that is how her emotions are also delicate, tender and sensitive to verbal assaults. She, therefore, cries easily due to words or actions that the man may think are not important. Women cry when they feel their spouses are not sensitive, loving or caring enough. They cry when they feel the burden is too much. That is how they are and there is nothing any man can do to make them behave like men.

With this understanding, I would suggest to the male folk that when next and whenever your wife cries, hold her, pet her and wipe away her tears, whether you feel like doing it or not. Do this whether you understand why she is crying or not. It is not fair for a real man to walk out on a crying woman. Love you.


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