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Women who proposed marriage

By Bishop Charles Ighele
10 October 2021   |   2:56 am
When Carol and I were in courtship, we got close to a lady who became our mutual acquaintance. She was bent on proposing marriage to a man. We seriously advised her not to do so.

Charles Ighele

When Carol and I were in courtship, we got close to a lady who became our mutual acquaintance. She was bent on proposing marriage to a man. We seriously advised her not to do so.

But she did not see anything wrong in a woman proposing to a man she loves. Her argument was that Ruth proposed marriage to Boaz in the Bible. The truth is that the Jewish custom and the custom that is being practised in my hometown and some other places is that a woman can decide to pick any male relative as her husband, upon the death of her original husband. This was what Naomi guided Ruth to do. The man not only rejected her but was also very angry with her. She was so ashamed of herself.

Since around 1960, people have become freer to do what they want. A collective sense of what is wrong and what is right has since given way to people thinking and behaving the way they choose to. It should, therefore, not be a surprise that more females are of the view that they can walk up to a man and say “I love you.”

A lady proposed to a man she probably assumed was too shy to make the move. He blatantly refused.

Her sense of self-importance and beauty definitely started to decrease. And this is what happens to many females who propose marriage to men. The shame is huge unless such a female has totally lost her sense of shame.

However, there are some cases where some men agreed to marry the females that proposed to them. But from my knowledge as a marriage and family counselor, some of those men agreed because they wanted to have free sex for some time. They would pretend along but after some time, they would zoom off. Such females are left licking their wounds and filled with painful memories of how foolish they were to have used their bodies, time, money and emotions of love on a complete crook.

I have also discovered that a large number of women, who proposed marriage to their husbands and eventually got married, ended in divorce. In a case that was brought to my attention some time ago, the man decided to divorce his wife, simply because he did not propose marriage to her after fifteen years of having wedded her in a church.

In another group of women that proposed marriage to their husbands, many of the women are struggling to keep their marriages. It’s like the case of what a preacher said many years ago, “What you struggle to get, you struggle to keep.” 

There are still a few cases out there of people who got married where the man enjoyed being proposed to and still enjoys being pursued in the marriage, while the woman enjoyed proposing to the man and still enjoys pursuing him and doting all over him. But this is not normal. The way God wired the male and the female is for the male to propose to the female. Proverbs 18:22 reflects it this way: “Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour of the Lord.” It is, therefore, the man that should do the finding. The best a lady should do if she thinks she loves a man is to pray for God to direct such a man to look her way.

Come to think of it, have you ever seen a female bird or a female fowl or a female dog pursuing the male for sex? Me, I never see o. E no good make a bird or animal get sense pass human being o. Love you.

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