When Ash Wednesday, Valentine’s Day Collide

The Lenten Season for Catholic faithful begins on Ash Wednesday and it is an important ritual where the faithful wears ashes on his or her forehead.

This symbolises the dust from which God made man. This is further emphasised when the priest says to the person as he applies the ashes, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” Alternatively, the priest may speak the words, “Repent and believe in the Gospel.”

This holy day is not only celebrated by the Catholic denomination, it is also celebrated by other Western Christian denominations and even non-Christians. “I’m not a Catholic but Ash Wednesday reminds me of who I am and what I am, and where I am going to after death. I wear the Ash every year,” said a lady.

During this day, Christians resolve to give up a habit or pleasure, such as smoking, alcohol, eating their favourite foods, immorality or becoming angry among other vices that are deemed to affect the soul.

Another holy day picked by non-Catholics and is now a widely celebrated day is Valentine’s Day. The feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated on February 14 in the Catholic Church. According to history, it is believed that he secretly performed Christian weddings against the order of the pagan Roman emperor, which is how Valentine’s Day became associated with Romantic love.

The feast of Saint Valentine became so popular that he is regarded as the saint of love and his feast day is set aside to celebrate love in all its form. On this day, romantic love, friendship and admiration are celebrated. Lovers express their love for each other while buying gifts, have candle-lit dinners, amongst other activities that express love and in an atmosphere that evokes the feeling they desire- love.

Maria Ashley who attends Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, Lagos, said that grace is needed to understand the essence of both days. “It’s confusing because Ash Wednesday is telling me that vanity upon vanity, all is vanity and that after everything, I will return to dust which means I’m nothing, only my soul matters. But Valentine is saying, let’s celebrate love, you know, following the two greatest commandments, love God and love your neighbour but owing to human failings we tend to celebrate love in the wrong way.”

Stanley Chibueze, a parishioner of St. Charles Lwanga, Abuja, said he is at a crossroads on what to do that day. “I love Jesus and I love my girlfriend but that day just poses a risky question to you. Who do you love more? I don’t know how that day is going to be but I’m planning to go to church in the morning for the ashes and then celebrate my day with my girlfriend. I will try to avoid meat or any animal skin…”

For Enoch Olarenwaju, a parishioner of Saint Joseph Cathedral, Ilorin, that day is just a coincidence by nature and that he would party and celebrate love. “Ash Wednesday is a day of remembrance. Because we are returning to dust doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy the created things God has given us.

Olarenwaju, however, said the day of clash calls for some sort of sacrifice especially for those that are Valentine savvy. “This year, I won’t go clubbing because it won’t make sense to go to church for ashes in the morning, go to a club house in the night and continue the Lenten mood the next day. I will party very well in the morning, eat, make merry and enjoy my day with my woman. When evening comes, I will receive the ashes and enter into a penitential mood for the rest of the Lenten season.”

Alberta Obiekezie, a parishioner at Saint Thomas Aquinas Chaplaincy, said prior to this time she has never had special feelings for Valentine’s Day. “I understand that the day celebrates love but I grew up in a setting that sees Valentine as the actual feast of the saint and it being a normal day and never an exaggerated day for lovers in a relationship. I love Ash Wednesdays so much and will always be in church that particular day”

According to Kenneth Alozie, a faithful at St. Matthew’s Anglican Church, Abuja, “Ash Wednesday is really an even more significant custom in my life than the celebration of a saint which people use as an excuse for immorality. The Lord has given us an exception this year to be with him in love in the church and not in the club.”

Reverend Father Patrick Akaigwe, a parish priest from Nnewi Diocese, Anambra State said that Ash Wednesday begins the 40 days journey of Christians in commemoration of Christ’s suffering for humanity in love and out of love and that fortunately, this year’s Ash Wednesday coincides with the world annual valentine’s day, the world acclaimed love celebration day.

There is a big connection between the love of Christ, which is summed up in Christ’s suffering and Valentine’s Day. If I love you and I cannot suffer for you, is it love? Can we suffer for the one we love as Christ did? On this year’s Valentine’s day, let us be determined to love Christ selflessly.”

Also, Reverend Father Ndubueze Ifeakor, a Nigerian priest based in Rome, said there wouldn’t be an issue of a balancer since it’s an obligatory day for fasting and abstinence for Catholics. And no one is dispensed from this obligation except those who have been canonically dispensed by law.

“It depends on what you are celebrating, if you are celebrating ‘lust’, you would have a problem with the collision of Ash Wednesday, but if you are celebrating true love, you wouldn’t mind because you would fulfill the ultimate commandment, ‘Love of neighbour and Love of God’ and these two expressions of love, is not devoid of God. In line with manifestations of love; Why don’t we do an act of charity for somebody else? Why don’t we do an act of penance for one another as a sign of our love?”

Benita Shayo, a Methodist Church attendee at Ibadan said that when this collision happens, it is usually a tough decision for her. “On Valentine’s day, I go anywhere that promises fun. That’s the only day I got to jiggle my body. I can go to a club, picnic, hangout but this year I can’t do that because of Ash Wednesday. I would go to an orphanage and celebrate for that purpose.”

According to Peter Inojie, a Catholic and social commentator, people would still observe Ash Wednesday even though it collides with Valentine. “Well, according to my observance, even though there’s the coincidence of the day, it’s not going to diminish people’s observance of Ash Wednesday, because there’s a great fervor for beginning Lent with ashes year after year that amazes me. For me, I will observe this day of obligation.”