“Real men don’t ask questions.” “You must go five rounds or you’ve failed.” “She’s just enduring it for your sake.”

These are the kind of lines that fly around in casual conversations among men, in barber shops, WhatsApp groups, and late-night gists. For many, this was their first “education” about sex.

No health classes. No open conversations. Just street wisdom, peer pressure, and banter on social media.

But here’s the problem, a lot of what we were told isn’t just wrong, it’s harmful.

Instead of real understanding, many men grew up with myths. And those myths still shape how they think, feel, and act in relationships today.

It affects everything, from confidence and communication to intimacy and emotional connection.

Here are five beliefs men urgently need to unlearn.

1. A real man must last long during sex

This belief places undue pressure on men and has led many to equate duration with satisfaction.

However, health professionals clarify that the quality of intimacy is not determined by timing. Emotional safety, mutual understanding, and communication are more important than performance expectations.

In cases where early ejaculation occurs frequently, medical advice can be sought. But it should not be used to measure masculinity or personal worth.

2. Women don’t enjoy sex like men do

This myth continues to create a major disconnect in relationships. The assumption that women only participate out of obligation or tolerance is incorrect.

Studies show that women experience desire and pleasure, but cultural silence and lack of open dialogue often prevent them from expressing it. Men who understand this are better positioned to build respectful, balanced relationships.

3. Body count determines a man’s value

In some circles, the number of sexual partners a man has is seen as a mark of status or success.

In reality, quantity does not reflect maturity, respect, or emotional intelligence. What matters more in any partnership is integrity, accountability, and the ability to connect meaningfully with others.

4. Foreplay is optional or unnecessary

Foreplay is often misunderstood or rushed, especially in male-dominated conversations about sex.

Experts note that foreplay is essential to the sexual and emotional experience of many women. It improves communication, builds trust, and leads to more satisfying intimacy for both parties.

5. If you ask questions, it shows you’re inexperienced

Assuming that every partner has the same preferences is misleading.

Asking questions such as “Is this okay for you?” or “Would you prefer something different?” promotes mutual understanding and respect. It encourages open communication, which is essential for any healthy relationship.

Moving forward with better understanding

True confidence is not in pretending to know it all, but in being open to learning. As more men begin to question the harmful stereotypes they were raised with, there is an opportunity to replace misinformation with clarity, care, and respect.

Unlearning old habits is a step toward healthier relationships, built not on assumptions, but on shared values and open conversation.