Nigerian weddings are famously lavish, but when does celebration turn into financial pressure? Here’s why every bride and groom should prioritise consideration over extravagance.
Weddings are a big deal, especially in Nigeria. They’re not just about love between two people, but also about community, with extended family, old classmates, and long-lost acquaintances all rallying to celebrate.
But one thing begs the questions: should your friends go broke just to stand by your side? When does a celebration of love become a financial burden for the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and anyone (un)fortunate enough to be in your wedding party?
Picture this: Ada, your best friend, asks you to be her bridesmaid. You’re overjoyed, until the list rolls out: custom designer dresses, a bridal shower in Dubai, matching heels, full glam, and a bone-straight weave. Your excitement fades as reality sets in that you might need to take out a small loan just to show up.
We’ve all heard stories of groomsmen buying identical designer suits or bridesmaids footing the bill for a week-long bachelorette trip.
Uche, who was a bridesmaid for her childhood friend, put it bluntly: “The bride wanted us to have matching shoes, which she picked from a boutique in Lekki. I thought, ‘Fine, how expensive could they be?’ When I saw the price tag, I nearly fainted! N85,000 for shoes I’d wear once!”
Beyond the outfits, there are hidden costs: makeup, nails, group gifts, pre-wedding events. Before you know it, you’ve spent more than your monthly salary on a one-day event.
Don’t get me wrong, celebrating love is important. Nigerian weddings, especially, are an experience like no other—cue the jollof rice, champagne pops and Flavour’s Ada Ada. There’s excitement, dancing, music, and food. But at what point does it become unreasonable to expect your friends to fund your dream?
Groomsmen aren’t exempt. From tuxedo rentals to contributions for elaborate stag trips, the financial toll adds up fast.
Take Tolu, who attended his cousin’s wedding in Lagos: “It was glamorous. We all looked like models, but after paying for the custom suit and contributing to the bachelor party in Dubai, I had to beg my boss for a salary advance. My account still hasn’t recovered.”
It’s easy to get swept up in wedding details, but it’s crucial to remember: friendship should never be a financial test.
Are we now measuring loyalty by who can afford the fanciest asoebi? The emotional high of your wedding shouldn’t come at a personal financial low for those you love.
So, to answer the big question: No, your friends shouldn’t go broke for your wedding. They should feel honoured, not obligated. They should celebrate your joy, not nurse resentment over the dent in their account.
Before sending out those invites to your destination wedding in Seychelles or Beverly Hills, think about your friends’ pockets. Because no matter how beautiful the day is, it’s not worth losing your closest people over a Chanel dress or Gucci shoes.
Nneka, a former bridesmaid, put it best: “The most beautiul weddings I attended weren’t the most expensive. They were the ones where everyone genuinely felt happy to be there.”
At the end of the day, weddings are about love, not luxury. The real flex? Thoughtful planning, meaningful memories, and friendships that last beyond the bouquet toss.
As Fela said, “Water no get enemy.” Don’t let your dream wedding turn your friends into strangers drowning in debt.
How do you find a balance between your dream wedding and your friends’ realities?
1. Choose budget-friendly options
You don’t need Gucci or Prada to look stunning. Consider affordable designers or let your friends wear clothes they already own. If possible, offer to subsidise or cover part of the cost as a kind gesture.
2. Talk about money early
Before locking in bridal shower plans or asoebi styles, have an honest conversation. Ask your friends what they’re comfortable spending. Not everyone is on equal footing, and true friendship means being sensitive to that.
3. Dial down the extravagance
That Maldives getaway may look good on Instagram, but should your friends go into debt for it? A luxury picnic, spa day, or in-town staycation can be just as fun, and far more considerate. Your friends (and their wallets) will thank you.
4. Offer flexible participation
If some of your closest friends can’t afford to attend, consider live-streaming the event or create virtual experiences. Not everyone needs to be physically present to celebrate. It’s the joy that counts, not the amount spent.
5. Shift the focus back to love
Your wedding is about celebrating love and commitment with the people who matter most. It shouldn’t be a financial stress test for your friends. No one will remember the exact blush pink your bridesmaids wore or the brand of your groomsmen’s shoes. What they’ll remember is the joy, laughter, and memories created. Plan with that in mind.
