Online dating advice and your relationships

Sir: The internet has programmed itself, into a non-degree awarding college of diverse knowledge, where almost everyone suddenly runs to for a quick fix on how to polish what’s left of their relationships, or dust dwindling emotions off, without necessarily having to endure long hours of exhaustive classroom lectures. The internet is saturated with so much misconception, through the assumed ‘conventional standards’ it believes every relationship must meet up with, for it to be considered ideal and not toxic.

So, it begins to proffer solutions… “5 Reasons Why He Or She Is Not Right For You”, “10 Things You Shouldn’t Do For Your Partner No Matter How Much You Love him/her”, “4 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is On The Brink of Collapse”, “11 Accurate Signs To Know If Your Partner Is Cheating” and many others.

Some online dating articles, advise women (including the married ones) to keep an open mind in their relationship, as it is considered healthy to maintain a crush on other men they possibly find attractive. Some others, advise people to walk out on their relationships if they mostly quarrel and argue with their partners (which according to them, is a glaring sign they don’t belong together), or if both partners don’t seem to share similar interests and aspirations.

Isn’t it funny how some who comment on these articles, who possibly endure ‘toxic relationships’ at home, will advise other people to quit theirs? It’s important to note, that while online dating advice can be helpful to some, it could ruin others who haven’t put in much work in trying to understand the ‘love language’ of their partner (which could be extremely different from theirs), or haven’t exhausted all available options in reconciliation and vital communication.

You don’t really need an online article to validate whether you’re doing it right or wrong in your relationship. The quality of love you give and the feedback you receive provides all the information you require!

On the other hand, if you put in so much love but receive a scarcely positive feedback in return, you’re required to invest a lot more love, by consistently giving a healthy series of nag-free communication a shot! A therapist will tell you the same (perhaps in a different language), but of course, at the expense of a little pocket money, which I’m sure you want to hold back in the purse!

Relationships vary, and likewise the love language of the people involved. What works for another, may profit little to you and what ruins your affair, may seem exaggerated to another. Pay more attention to your relationship and recline a bit from getting series of dating advice online. What’s good for the goose, may not always be as good for the gander!

Nimi Princewill,
Lagos