Sometimes ago, the two mothers of a couple arrived at about the same time to mother their daughter who had just given birth. In trying to outdo each other with their contrary mothering techniques, they greatly disagreed and quarrelled to the extent that their children started taking sides with their mothers.

In many instances, especially in Africa, the man being the head of the home will bring his mother to do the work. Many wives do not find this funny at all.

When Ruth gave birth to her baby, the person closest to her (Naomi) did the work of mothering mother and child.

The Bible says: “And Naomi became nurse unto it.” A woman who has just given birth does not need to serve people. She needs to be served. And she should be very free with whosoever will mother her precious baby. It is the person whose meal Ruth could reject and request her to prepare something different that came. It was Naomi, Ruth’s guardian that came.

Probably, only few out of half a million people have an entirely close mother and child relationship with their mothers-in-law than with their mothers. Mothers-in-law are not, therefore, in the best position to do the work.

They are to be served unless they are extremely close. The couple should bring in the person that the nursing mother will be free with, which in most cases, may be, the woman’s mother. This is what I have found out over the years of my marriage and counseling ministry.

Aunts or other close associates can be picked provided the nursing mother will be extremely free with them.

Apart from these principal persons, other people can come in and spend some hours, a night or two with the couple who just gave birth. Love you!

• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.