There is a story of a lady called Juliet (not real name) who got married to her husband, she was so much in love with him, but after some time the love she had for him run cold; she could no longer tolerate him and she began to regret getting married to him.

When asked, she said her husband pushed her away without his knowledge. It happened that in their home, her husband never takes any decision without first getting consent from his mother. Even when they went house hunting, they saw a beautiful house that she liked, but her husband said:

“My mum will not be able to climb the stairs,” so they did not take the house. Although that did not bother her, it however, made herto start noticing that no day passed that her husband would not mention his mother. If they go shopping and she picks anything he would say, “this would look good on my mother,” if they see anything funny it would be “if my mum sees this she would laugh.”

If she cooks he would tell her to ask his mother how to make that particular dish because he prefers the taste of his mother’s cooking. It was always “my mum this, my mum that.” He compares everyone and everything to his mum and how she does her things. She could not talk to him about it because she noticed that if any of his friends should tease him about his relationship with his mum, he gets offended, he never likes hearing that. So instead of complaining she began to endure and in the process, she was getting hurt until she developed a thick skin, which erased the love she initially had for him.

The Bible explained to us in (Mat. 19:5) that a man shall leave both father and mother and be firmly cemented to his wife where nothing, but death can separate them. No spouse would want to be like a visitor in his or her home and that is what happens when he or she is not part of the decision-making process in the home.

In marriage, your spouse MUST come first, whatever decision that is needed to be made must first be between both of you before you take it out, if at all you must.

After you are married, your spouse and children become part of your nuclear family, while your parents, brothers and sisters become part of your extended family. Make your spouse your confidant, best friend and adviser. Love you!