Author harps on need to build marital relationship on vision, not wealth
Marriage as an institution is characterised by diverse dynamisms beyond financial stability, hence the drive for Mercy Balogun, a London-based Nigerian author, to launch her book titled: Fall in Love With His Vision Not His Wallet at Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos.
Balogun’s book captures the true story of her life as background, driving home the ideology that it takes more than money to have a happy marriage.If anything, her 30-year-old successful marital journey, through its turbulence and trying times is an incentive for single and married women to wake to the reality of attributing more interest in their partner’s vision.
Balogun connects the subject and direction of her book on the theme of prayers to God for a workable marriage, characterising the entity of marital relationship to outstanding vision into what is obtainable in the future, and not at the moment.She outlines the best principles of finding the right partner and maintaining a lasting relationship in marriage. She also discusses what men and women want in marriage, listing the key elements to a successful marriage, whilst emphasising on the God factor and shunning the drive for material possessions as priority.
The first paragraph of page 9 says: “When I first met my husband, all he had was a mattress on the floor of his one room and a television set… He didn’t have money to offer me, but he had a vision and that’s why I chose him.”She also points out the six dangerous ‘Red alerts’ in marriage on page 22 through to the end, explaining when and how to know something is going wrong in your marriage. The first alert reads: “When you stop caring and appreciating each other.”
Balogun further explains: “It is important for couples to understand that what you do not appreciate will depreciate.“Learn not to make permanent decisions based on temporary situations. I have heard so many stories of spouses leaving their partners because of money, and the reality is that things change, and often people are ashamed to go back” she wrote.
The launch which was coordinated by Lagos–based publisher of Exquisite Magazine, Tiwa Onasanya, offered guests an absolute summary of the contents in the 30 pages structured book for easy read, with highlights on the context, one of which is “the need for girls to be educated and counseled to study their partner before marriage. However, you can listen to people’s opinion but ultimately the decision of a life partner is yours” she summarised.
More explicit was the narrative of the book ideology by the author herself, honouring the guest the pleasure to feel her thoughts and see through her mindset on her writing. She said the title emanated from her story as she married a man who had nothing else going for him at the time, aside his cleaning porter job and a vision to do great in life eventually.
“When I met my husband, he was living in a tiny room with a big bed but amongst my suitors, I noticed there was something extraordinary about him that did not strike me with others, his vision.“He was a porter who cleaned the hotel but, he had great plans for his life and future, so he carried himself with dignity as he worked hard and lived within his income.
“I realised he had vision with a lot of plans, so I decided to work with him and his vision eventually turned into money as he is now a real estate manager in London and we are doing great as a family,’ she said.
Balogun, however, advised singles to pray and seek God’s will and direction for a life partner, beyond the present availabilities and possibilities.“When I met my husband, I knew he could not afford everything I wanted with his cleaning porter job, but I noticed that he would save for months to buy me things I merely admired as we walked passed the shop together, and moved on, because I knew we could not afford it.”
“I really suffered at the early stage of our marriage but knew it was worth it. However, it is not every guy you suffer for, hence the need to pray, to know who is worthy of such perseverance” she said.She emphasised that vision without work amounts to nothing, illustrating with the exemplary Moses in the Bible who had a rod in his hand before God instructed him to use the rod to divide the Red Sea. “You have to get something doing,” she said.
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