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Avoiding time wasters


Hi ladies…hope you all are having a fabulous weekend. As usual, we will be talking about men. They are such interesting species I must confess. Now did you know that 80-90% of all single men in the dating game are not ready for a long-term relationship? I know it is hard to believe, but it is true. If all single men in the dating game got into a relationship right now, about 80-90% of those relationships will not work out. Why? Because most times:

– They are unprepared for the responsibilities.
– They do not want to be tied down to one woman.
– Or they simply do not have the skills to handle a serious relationship, no matter how hard they try.

If you asked me, this 80-90% of single men have no business being in the dating game in the first place. But they do anyway, and it is us women who suffer the most! On the other hand, the remaining 10-20% of men are the “long-haul” types. They are the ones who are ready, willing, and able to handle serious relationships and they are actively playing the dating game, too!

And today, I will be sharing with you secrets to help you make the “long-haul” types of men like you while making sure the remaining 80-90% stay well away from you!

I was discussing with one of my friends the other day and she talked about too many guys being in the dating game who just want short-term relationships and she on the other hand, wants something long-term! She wanted to know how she could avoid these type of guys who are time wasters.

Quick question, “How do you avoid the guys who will end up just wasting your time? I will give you the answer in just a moment. But first, I would like to share with you a very important lesson in dating: Do you know what makes men run away? The biggest mistake women make that drives men away is:  Putting pressure on a guy too early too soon. Men are extremely averse to pain and very attached to pleasure, especially at the beginning phase of a relationship. If you find that you are putting pressure on a man early on, it might be a good idea to tone it down a bit!

Now, let us move on with how to avoid dating time wasters. In the beginning of a relationship, it is not always easy to tell whether a guy really likes you or is just playing with you. That is why it is best to take a little initiative, and make your intentions clear early on. Let him know that you are looking for a “long-term” relationship, and not just casual dating.

Do not pretend, and do not hide your true feelings just to avoid hurting his. (The truth will come out in the end and you want it to be on your side!) When he starts asking you about hanging out on a more regular basis, give him this message: “Well, to be honest, I am looking for something long-term. But if that is not what you want, I can appreciate that as long as you tell me now.” I mean that is polite enough is it not? It is harmless, and it is straight to the point. And best of all, it encourages him to be completely honest with you! But here is the tip, throughout your entire relationship with him, be sure to mention your intentions only once or twice. (Three times tops.) Do not say it over and over. That is just silly, desperate and a little paranoid!

Instead, focus your time, energy, and resources on getting to know each other better. Then you give him your second message after a few months: “I am having a great time with you; imagine the fun we would have if we really settled down together.” When he gets this message, it is the moment of truth for him. He either settles down with you or starts withdrawing and finding an exit strategy. If he settles down, great! But if he withdraws, then it is likely he had no plans of making it a long-term relationship anyway. In that case, it is best to let it go and move on, as quickly as you can. Trust me.

I know this approach is not the “fastest” way to know if he is serious, or just wasting your time. But it is the surest, safest, and least stressful way to find out. What is more, this approach makes the relationship fun right from the start. And even if it does not work out in the end, you can still part with him on good terms, leaving the door open for another chance in the future. Your happiness is most important.

To our happiness. Cheers.

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