Bond with your kids

Bonding is an essential aspect of parenting that entails being in tune with your child(ren). It is important to create time to relate with your kids. If you live in Lagos, the hassles of the city can be consuming but hey, it shouldn’t totally be an excuse. Family is everything.

The fact that you give prior attention to your child, and create frequent and constant association gives every form of security, love and affection. That’s why we are parents. And when your child grows some form of confidence in you, you become their gist partner, buddy and their next move is known before even attempting.

Even as it is necessary to ensure that your child turns out well in academics, well-groomed, better organised and shaped into the kind of adults we want them to be, simply relating with them is all they need at every stage of their growth to achieve any of these milestone.

If you want to better bond with your kids and wonder how well you can achieve this, try these:

Read a good book together
Story-books are an interesting way to bond. With a page-turner you can read aloud to your kids in instalments over several days or week, this creates a restful, intimate zone for you all to exist in. Stop and talk about what your kids think about the story. Ask what they would do if faced with the same circumstances as the characters. Their answers will give you a glimpse into how they perceive the world.

Teach them something fun
Life doesn’t have to be all long division and how to make your bed. Have some fun by teaching your kids something less serious, like how to bake cookies, cupcakes or build a boat. Make it low pressure and full of laughs-even if it’s a disaster.

Take long walks together
During the long days of summer, take advantage of the extra daylight by taking walks together in the evenings. It doesn’t have to be a power walk or even really about fitness. Just make it a chance to explore the neighbourhood together and talk about your day.

Have a standing monthly date with mom or dad
Each of your kids needs a little one-on-one time with you to connect. Make a regular date for dinner or ice cream with each of your children where it’s all about them-no talking about heavy stuff, either. Just fun.

Bedtime party
Every once in a while let them come hang out in your room at bedtime. Pop some popcorn, snuggle up, and have movie time together. Better yet, just talk or play board games.

Listen to them
To listen well, we need to put specific skills into practice, such as setting aside all other distractions and cultivating genuine interest. When we do this in combination with active listening- sustained eye contact and reflecting back what we hear- we’re on our way to connection city.

Give a hint about yourself as a former goofy kid
Your kids may have trouble thinking of you as anything but a mom or dad. Tell them a funny story about something funny you did when you were their age or about something embarrassing that happened to you. Laughter should ensue.

Engage in road trips
Some Saturday, surprise your child with a daylong road trip to somewhere fun or interesting. It doesn’t have to be Disneyland, either. A museum or a natural attraction, not so much about the destination as the journey. Don’t forget to stop for lunch at a spot they love, and probably for ice cream, too!

Just Play
Play is the language of children, so it only makes sense that we should try to connect with them through something that comes so naturally. When parents enter their child’s world and follow their lead in play, they open up the possibility for many positive outcomes including taking on a different relationship role and seeing our children from a new perspective.