Thursday, 30th November 2023

Does he love me or he just wants to use me

By Kemi Amushan
23 July 2016   |   2:11 am
Yes! There are a number of tip off that a man is not genuinely interested in you. If you notice any one of these signs, it’s time to rethink sleeping with that guy.


Sometimes when we suspect if the person we are dating is using us for sex, they actually are. If you’re a woman looking for love and a serious relationship, the idea that a man could be using you for sex is totally upsetting I know and the fact that this unpleasant thought entered your mind let’s you know you are on to something. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if that’s what you want. But, feeling like you are being used for sex is a heartbreaking reality many women have to face. So, you might be wondering if there is a way to know for sure.

Yes! There are a number of tip off that a man is not genuinely interested in you. If you notice any one of these signs, it’s time to rethink sleeping with that guy.

*If your time together always involves ending up in the bedroom and eating some takeout once in a while, then he’s likely interested only in sex. Men who are looking for a loving relationship want to enjoy all aspects of being with you. They want to show you off and look forward to being seen with you in public. If you never go out, ask him about going on a date. You’ll find out fast if he’s agreeable or makes excuses to understand his priority. It’s either love or sex.

* Your man is strangely only available during the week. Somehow every weekend is filled with obligations that keep him from being with you. Whether it’s his kids, buddies or family, he’s got plenty to do and can’t see you. He might be open to some afternoon delight, but he’s never free on Friday night,Saturday or sunday which is your clue he’s probably using you.

* You’ve been seeing him for months, but haven’t met his friends or family. He’s not blending you into his life which lets you know he doesn’t consider this a real relationship. He might say something romantic like he treasures just being with you. This is likely his attempt at sweet talking you out of socializing.

* Maybe you have common interests and you both enjoy live music, going to the movies or watching football. Yet, you never do these things when you see each other. If your activities focus on the bedroom, then he probably thinks of you for one reason.

* When a man sees you as a long-term girlfriend, he wants to get to know you better. So he stays in touch and calls between dates. If your guy only texts to set up your next tryst or keeps his calls short, that’s a clue he’s using you.

*If your time together feels rushed or he has one leg in his trousers the minute he’s done with you, that’s a surefire signal he’s using you for sex. A man who is genuinely interested wants to linger for a while, talk to you, and enjoy the afterglow. But when he’s always rushing out the door, tell him not to bother coming back.

Now that you know he’s using you for sex, you need to decide what to do next. You can try talking to him, but people rarely change. If you dream of a loving relationship, the best thing you can do is admit he doesn’t treat you right and he’s not the man for you. Tell him you deserve more and don’t look back.

And if you want to avoid being used again…

* Hold off on Intimacy.
Wait to see if he’s interested in getting to know you before sleeping with him. If a man takes you on five or six dates within a few weeks, he’s probably thinking more long-term. It’s not a guarantee tho, but it sure tells you he’s not only interested in sex.

* Don’t Use Sex to Get a Man Interested.
Some women think if they have sex with a man, he’ll come back for more. This heartbreaking game does not work to cement your relationship. So, even if he does return, that doesn’t mean he thinks of you as his girlfriend or that he’s even looking for one. And it doesn’t mean you’re the only one he’s sleeping with.

* Know that You Are Worth Waiting for.
When I’m discussing with some of my friends, they tell me men want sex after they’ve gone out for about a month or so or they move on. If they hold out longer, the men stop calling. If you find such a man lurking around you or has left you and stopped calling, you weeded out a man who wasn’t serious about you.” Never ever allow yourself to feel pressured. There is no reason to sleep with a man except on your own terms.

Above all, know you are a fabulous woman, worthy of love and respect. Honour yourself to attract better men and the love you deserve and say no to any man that diminishes your self-esteem. OK?

To our happiness. Cheers

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