Don’t go into marriage adding to the statistics of failed marriages
Lara Owoeye Wise,
Lara Owoeye Wise is an amazon who sparkles and an inspiration to countless women. The fact that she wears many hat as an author, journalist, humanitarian and singer is not what makes her spectacular, but her brilliance stems from the fact that she makes a positive difference and adds value wherever she finds herself. Though she is on a leave of absence as one of African Independent Television’s (AIT) leading lights, it hasn’t waned her drive and desire for being an agent of change. The Special Assistant on Media to the Deputy Reps Speaker in Nigeria, opens up on being a leading light, womanhood, pursuing one’s calling among other issues.
What drives me
I think I drive myself. I am self- motivated. I love challenges, I love to work and I love to work under pressure this brings out the best in me especially when the deadline is looking at me. That is when I am at my best .If the drive doesn’t come you just drive it because there are things to do. I have crazy ideas and a lot of energy. It’s my sister who says : “Even when you are asleep, Lara you are restless.” I am a very restless person. When you look at the things you have to do, you just have to get your butt out of the chair and put your feet on the ground hitting the ground running.
One of the people that prepared me for what I do is my father. God bless his soul. My father was raised by missionaries and my mum too was raised by Britons. They were very particular about English language, manners, diction and phonetics especially my father. If you mispronounced a word at home, it was a taboo as it were. My father will make your life a living hell. Out of all of us, it was my elder sister and I that took that thing to heart. Then I think I took it and ran with it. Those were one of my favorite moments with daddy. He will give you a word and ask you what it meant and if you don’t get it, he will laugh at you. That also prepared me in a way. Father was a good writer, he was a good story teller .I took after him. I used to write and he would look at what I wrote, correct and yab me. That also prepared me for what I do today. I write, I do a lot of my imagination and that also prepared me.
I told you about my NGO. It’s very dear to my heart. “Power the : girl Power the world”. If we empower the girl with education, we are giving power to the world. I do that. I am a music person, I am active in my church choir, I am a praise and worship leader in my church, a part coordinator and an ordained worker in my church. I love humanitarian work, I love to see people happy and make people laugh .I want people to just feel good about life .I have been at a point in my life where the burden was too much and I didn’t talk to anyone. I caved in and it almost killed me. I love to tickle people and make them laugh around me. I have authored a book LOL-Lessons of life .I love to use my voice .I do voice-overs and all of that. I told you about my music. I play a bit of the keyboard and strum the guitar.
Resigning from AIT?
I didn’t resign from AIT I took a leave of absence because of my appointment as the S.A on Media to the Deputy Speaker. He is a remarkable lawmaker.
Being a Journalist
As per journalism let’s just say if I had not been a journalist, I would have missed my calling in life. At a young age, I would seat in front of my mum’s mirror , get my dad’s old newspapers and be flipping the pages of the newspaper in front of my mum’s mirror. I will just be bumping my hair up and down and be muttering words. I remember a word in particular. It’s the word ‘Committee’. Then my mum will come to the room and knock my hair saying “I told you to go and get my slippers ,you are standing in front of the mirror”. That happened a lot of time. I also know that I love to write even as a child. I have a very vivid imagination and I probably was made for the cameras .I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say. We grew up in the North where the rainy seasons were scanty. Each time it rained and the lighting came, I would go near the window and would be doing all sorts of pose for the lightening .I would say:” God was taking the pictures and he would save them and send them to me one day”. Somehow, these were just the signs that I will be in front of the cameras and that I like the Kleglights, not attention but cameras and taking pictures.
I miss my friends and the fun in the newsroom. You know I am now a civil-servant as it were. I miss the craziness and the madness in the newsroom, the fights .I miss active journalism, I can say yes to that. I miss editing when the reporters bring their script and you tell them what they are not doing right. I miss the part of being able to teach and impact knowledge. I don’t miss the makeups that you have to do every time.
Plenty times o. You must come to that point when you ask yourself questions like ”Is this worth it”? Let me give you an example. One of the things I do as an aside is humanitarian work. Four years ago, I lost my teenage son to Leukemia and I set up a foundation in his memory called Timileyin Hope Foundation. (THF) What we do is to go to the rural areas. Most of the time the rural areas are neglected, nobody cares about them. I took that foundation to the rural areas. I started from my State, Kogi State and what we do is to look at teenage mothers who have left schools because they got pregnant .I am sure in most of our villages, this is very endemic. They get themselves pregnant and the next time you go the village, they are pregnant again. You find out that teenagers before the age of 19 have had two to three kids .They can’t go back to school anymore. Some of these girls are remarkably intelligent .What we do is that we rehabilitate them , screen them and give them sex education. We put them back in school .Our first year, one of our girls who has been out of school for over 4 years made the honors roll in her school. She cleared her papers. Even at that, there are moments where I sit down and ask myself: “Who send me?” There are moments of discouragement; moments when you feel down and your hands are down. Those are the moments you realize that it is not by my power but by the power of God. If you don’t have those down moments, then you are running in your power. That is the rhythm of life. That is just the way it is.
People who abuse others are not happy, they are not fulfilled. If you are genuinely happy and fulfilled with yourself, you will not hurt another person. You will not even seek to hurt a dog ,talk more of a human being .For you to be able to take a knife and stab another human being, especially someone you once professed to love ,someone you once shared your life and your body with, It all boils down to this . People who are abused will abuse another person. People who are not happy will want to make others unhappy. People who are not fulfilled will want to cut off the fulfillment of others. I will just advice everyone to just live happily .Find things that make you happy. For me, I always say there is no happiness outside of God, he is the real thing. That is my stabilizing factor. Find what makes you happy, go for it, be fulfilled .If what you do doesn’t give you much joy; look for other things to do.
Being ready for marriage
If you know you are not ready for marriage please don’t go into it. Don’t go into marriage and add to the statistics of failed marriages. If you are not ready for It, read. If you are not ready to love a woman under your roof, then don’t go into it. If you are not ready to be under the control of a man, then don’t get married. I believe in gender equality but with a caveat, I believe in the union according to the Bible that the man is the head of that home and the woman is his assistant. That is what the bible means by help meet. I believe there can’t be two masters in one ship. The ship with two masters will wreck.
Being a woman of rubies
I am just living my life, blessing people and touching lives. I am just me, I love people. I love to see people happy, fulfilled and satisfied.
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