Friday, 22nd September 2023

Family isn’t always blood

By Chukwuneta Oby
09 November 2019   |   2:55 am
A lady’s message to me actually informed this title. Read her first… “Some years back, my younger brother was deported from Europe. He came back with NOTHING.

A lady’s message to me actually informed this title. Read her first… “Some years back, my younger brother was deported from Europe. He came back with NOTHING. He had the option of sharing an apartment with our parents in the village. Despite the fact that we never really got along (he is very rude) while we were growing up, I stepped in and offered him a flat in my house in town. He became an obedient lamb, saying “yes sister’’ to whatever I said.

When I became fed up with his constant whining about the economic hardship, I began to ship stuffs for him to sell. The agreement was that we would split profits. I also asked him to take the smallest shop in my house.

In no time, I began to notice a change in this boy. When I visited home, I didn’t gain entrance into my own house…he made himself unavailable. Most surprising of all…he took the biggest shop alongside the small one that I offered him earlier and converted both into an office area for his use…without the courtesy of informing me.

I was traumatized when the reality of what I had put myself into dawned on me. I am not the only sibling he has but others would not touch him with a 10-foot pole. So, I gave him an ultimatum (in the presence of our parents) to quit my house. He had been there for about three years and that’s long enough for him to find his footing.

A year later, he was still there and actually began to feel bad that I asked him to leave my house. He mentioned our blood ties. He also mentioned something else that shocked me, he reminded me of the fact that I am neither married nor have a male child. He then went ahead to ask if the property wasn’t better off in the hands of “family.” I am a single mum to a teenage girl, by the way.

I knew immediately that this was taking a dangerous dimension. So, I involved a lawyer and the police at some point…when he began to parade himself as the owner of the property to my tenants. We are still in court and I am ready to fight dirty over this. That’s my sweat. He is claiming that the property, which I sent money for our father and his late brother to help me purchase, belongs to our father and not me. Thankfully, my documents are intact.

A lot of people may be asking “are they not from the same mother?’’ Yes, we are but some of those who also set out to undo you don’t consider the blood that ties you to them. He has had to remind me of my past during our altercation and I shudder at how MEAN some of those we call family can be. As they eat from your palms…they are also thinking HOW MANY MEN did she sleep with to get this. I will stop here. Just know that FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS BLOOD. Friends have treated me far better than the so-called family that saw one ONLY as a CASH COW.

Your brother is obviously an INGRATE. He obviously seemed like one who wanted a bear hug from a simple handshake.
Do all you can to secure your SWEAT. Even if you have to give it away…his BRAZEN attitude isn’t the right way to go about it.

As for his reference of your past…
It’s even family that rakes up one’s “past” the more…just don’t touch the wrong tail-or be prepared to hear the story of your life! Some people would always hold unto a past that you don’t live in anymore. It’s a human nature!
It beats me why a lot of young ladies would knowingly jeopardise their health for the sake of family’s economic wellbeing.

Are there no men in the family that can WORK and cater for the rest? Why must it be your body that will send them to school or be their meal ticket or gateway to a good life? I am asking because I have seen enough issues of this nature.

Being a single mum (with no husband yet) would automatically have you tagged SHE IS NOT MARRIED TODAY BECAUSE OF HER PAST MISDEEDS, WHILE HER SISTERS ARE HAPPILY SETTLED IN THEIR HOMES BECAUSE THEY ARE GOOD GIRLS.The sinking feeling of all the (now) unappreciated sacrifices are hard to get over. Please look well before you get involved with that fellow that wallows in hardship, despite being surrounded by comfortable folks. Sometimes, it’s their attitude that has shaped their reality.

If you wish to “hustle”…then hustle for yourself only.
Share with family if you want to but don’t always expect gratitude!

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