When I left my friends at the bridal store, my initial plan was to go to Tunji’s office and tell him the truth. I was going to let him know I was having more than cold feet, I was having serious doubts and that I could not go through with our wedding in two weeks until I was sure I wasn’t creating a mess for both of us in the future.
Afterwards, I planned to call Chigozie and let him know I was falling for him and ask him what his plans were concerning how he felt about me. I was sure that Chigozie did have feelings for me.
That was the plan. However, I found myself driving to the local airport. I went to the counter with nothing but my handbag, bought a ticket to Abuja.
With no luggage, no destination, no plan. As I boarded the flight, I realised how selfish I was being. I knew my mother would almost go crazy with worry, my father would be so disappointed and my brothers… well I knew they would support me as long as I was happy. The problem was I did not know what “happy” felt like anymore.
When the plane touched down, I turned on my phone and realised I had a bunch of messages: one from Onyeka, two from Tosin, and one from my mother. I called my mother immediately.
“Hello Mum. Good Afternoon”. I said to her.
“Good afternoon my dear. I have been trying to call you. When are you coming home? The decorator brought some samples for you to see”. She said.
“Mummy there is something I need to talk to you about. I’m scared…”.I said
She instantly interrupted me.
“What happened? Is Tunji ok? I hope you people are not quarrelling? Don’t let the devil stir up strife between you two. Just be patient, the wedding will be a huge success…..” My mother went on and on about how humble and patient I should be and I ended the call abruptly.
Her exaggerated reaction to my simple statement reminded me of how difficult it was to talk to her about my feelings.
I got into a taxi and as he drove me towards my favourite hotel in Abuja, I sent a couple of messages; I sent the same message to both my parents, my brothers, my best friends, Tunji and Chigozie. The message was simple and it read:
I am sorry. Needed sometime, to clear my head. Don’t worry about me, I am fine and would be back soon.
My phone immediately started ringing nonstop as they all tried to reach me. All of them except the person I knew I had hurt the most – Tunji.
A few hours later, I called him. He picked on the first ring.
“Hello” I said to him.
“Sewa, what is the meaning of this madness? Are you breaking off our engagement?” He asked.
I sighed into the phone before answering
“Tunji, I am scared we are making a mistake. I just want to be sure we are doing the right thing”. I explained.
“That doesn’t even make sense. You have had ten years to make sure I was the man for you. How can you wait two weeks to our wedding to pull this stunt”? Tunji was yelling into the phone at this point.
“It’s complicated. I don’t know how to explain it to you”. I said gently.
“Adesewa, I give you twenty four hours to come back home or the wedding is off”.
With that he hung up on me.
I was numb. I thought crying would make me feel better, but the tears refused to come. I was just numb.
I decided to turn my phone off and fell into a tortured sleep. The phone in my hotel room rang. I was told I had a visitor – Mr. Chigozie.
I was shocked. I hadn’t told anyone where I was. How could he possibly have found me and so soon too?
I was anxious and excited at the same time. Perhaps he had come to let me know he was in love with me.
I asked for him to be sent up to my room. I quickly got dressed and ran a brush through my hair. I heard a knock on my door. I opened it expecting to
see Chigozie but instead it was Tunji my fiancé standing in the doorway with an angry look on his face!