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Get passed the excuses that hold you back with your life

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excusesThe simplicity of realising generates freedom
“I hate my job, but it would be absolute madness handing in my notice”, “No one ever helps me” and so on blah blah blah… When you listen to people, as they narrate their stories, you will hear the different excuses, also known as lies that they tell and hold rather dearly.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, who constantly asks, for example, how you lost weight and manage to maintain it? No sooner you respond by saying, ‘it was through changing your diet and regular exercising,’ he or she replies with something like, “I couldn’t do that, I don’t have enough time in the day, because I’m always too busy” or “I just don’t have enough hours in the day to fit exercising into it”? It doesn’t matter what suggestion you make or information you offer, there is always a reason why he or she wouldn’t be able to and cap it off with a response either directly to you or toward mutual acquaintances that “you are so lucky to be so fit, slim or healthy.” The truth is that they are just being plain dishonest … basically, they are lying.

In other words, they are using lies to help justify their behaviour and or the choices they have or are making. It is an example of how people try to rationalise their behaviour in life. Generally speaking, lies are an intentional statement made with the intention to deceive, but in this instance, this kind of lie comes from a much deeper place within the person.

People can be crafty at times with their excuses, thinking and believing that they are being smart with and about the choices they make. For example, someone recently said to me, “Red wine is healthy to drink” and, therefore, he or she has up to five glasses of red wine each day. Some lies are based on the perceived inability people have of being able to manage their time and money properly and or organise their schedules and so on, they thereby resolve to tell a lie, as their excuse.

A Philosophy Within
To strengthen or justify the belief of the lies people tell, they muster up evidence in defence of the lie from its point of view; for example, “one’s schedule is too busy.” This belief, habit or attitude is firmly ingrained within the person, as it has been going on for a very long time. People are mentally blind to such continuous behaviour and how destructive it can be. They are unable to believe that they could play such a role, as they feel it would be rather silly, ridiculous or even absurd that they would willingly be the originators for the cause of their own pain and as a result, refuse to see just how they have planted a group of seeds full of excuses believing that they are protecting themselves, when what they are really doing is preventing themselves from seeing what is going on and that the fact is that they are actually hiding behind the lies they tell.

When they peel away the lies, they begin to see and take responsibility, realising that they can make changes, such as, for example, make it a point to leave home earlier, so that you can arrive at work on time. The core truth is that many people do not want to make any changes, as they find it a lot simpler to dwell in self-pity. They feel change is incapable of being made than to actually make it. Refrain from being a victim and admit that you have the ability to influence just how you behave.

When There Are Lies within Relationships
Lies not only stop you from having a better life, but they also affect your relationships, based on false ideas of doing something good; such as like a dynamic trade off between you and your partner, for example, “I won’t mention you have gained weight, if you don’t mention I drink a bottle of wine a day.” Such behaviour becomes a pattern within the relationship. Partners tend to develop a large range of lies for what they believe to be the preservation of peace, when really all they have is a repetitive result in their lives that lacks in true fulfilment and happiness. Sit down and have a conversation that reveals the issues, and you shall feel better for doing so.

This will enable, and allow, you both to open up about what you find upsetting about each other’s behaviours and make changes that benefit the relationship, and yourselves, instead of feeling you are unable to make a difference. This way, you are both dealing with things by being honest with each other and taking control to influence and make beneficial changes for both of you.


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ExcusesMary Alade
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