How to answer difficult questions your kids ask
Have your kids asked questions you may consider weird and difficult, which made you go blank, and then you wonder how they came about these questions? For Jayne A., founder, Fabmumng, an online parenting resource community, children are naturally curious beings.
“From young, they notice the way their body parts are distinct from that of the opposite sex. And as soon as they are able to put these thoughts into words, be rest assured they will be headed your way for answers.
“When they do, embrace these questions with an open heart for they will provide you with insight into their fears, thought process, and developmental understanding. They can also spark great conversations that will strengthen your parent-child bond.”
Augoye noted that for awkward anatomy and sex-themed difficult questions kids ask, parents should try rephrasing the question(s) to understand exactly what the child is asking.
Be honest. It’s okay to admit you feel uncomfortable or don’t know exactly how to respond, but that you are going to try to answer their questions. And when you do, tell the truth; making up a story about storks or fairies will only cause confusion and mistrust later on.
Provide simple, straightforward answers their minds can comprehend at that time (depending on their ages). No need for too many details. When appropriate, defer. If a question about sex comes up in a public place where you won’t be free to have a proper chat, don’t be afraid to admit its a really good question, but will be discussed later at home. And then as soon as you find the time, bring it up yourself so they know you aren’t dodging the conversation.
Encourage and be available for follow-up. Let your child know through your words and actions that you are available to offer information and answer questions about sex or anything else, anytime.
According to the other of triplets, an example of such questions and how it should be answered are why does my sister’s/brother’s body look different from mine? – A parent should answer by stating the differences they can see are a function of anatomy. The anatomy of a man’s body makes it that he has a penis, while a woman has breasts and a vagina.
A number of pediatricians and child educators are of the opinion that parents should use the correct terms for body parts when you explain to your child about differences in body parts. This is also a good time to let your child know that they should come to you if anyone does attempt to touch their private parts.
A question like, is it okay I kiss some boy/girl in my class? A parent should respond based on your child’s developmental understanding and your personal cum religious beliefs. However, if you are inclined to say ‘No’, do so and explain to them why you think the answer should be so.
While a question on when is it okay to start having sex? You can ask questions on their thoughts too, then follow up by explaining to them that sex or lovemaking is something consenting adults who are in some kind of relationship do. This is also a perfect time to layout other implications including sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and pregnancy, etc.
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