”I was sexually abused at 7, took me 25 years to open up ” – Bukola Afolabi Ogunyeye

Bukola Afolabi Ogunyeye is the Executive Director and Founder of Morna International Children’s Foundation (MICF). She studied Marketing at the Federal Polytechnic Ilaro, Ogun State. She also has a Master’s degree from the University Of Calabar. A Child’s Rights activist, and member of National Children’s Advocacy Centre Huntsville, USA, she was sexually abused at the age of seven by a family friend, but she only broke silence after 25 years. Bukola shares with us her life experiences, tale of survival and the inspiration behind her initiative.

Childhood
I was sexually abused at age seven. I remember vividly how a man (known to my family), who couldn’t have been less than 40 years called me into his office, made me sit on his laps and he fingered me. I was so scared and ashamed. I remember asking him to let me go. Then he stood, walked towards the door to his office and told me he would shut the door and I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I stood there very afraid, but he eventually let me go. I never told anyone what he tried to do to me. I remember it took me about 25 years before I could talk about it to a very close friend.

Touching a child’s private part(s) is sexual abuse. It is not only when penetration happened that we say a child has been sexually abused. Nobody has the right to touch a child’s private parts. They are private to a child. I also started touching myself afterwards into adulthood. It was later I discovered that the childhood experience was responsible for it.

All about me
I am Bukola Afolabi Ogunyeye, the Executive Director and Founder of (MICF). I am a native of Ibonwon in Eredo local government area of Lagos State. I’m a businesswoman, an author and was formerly a banker. I also have a passion for women issues, which has been there since my childhood. It’s so obvious that women are being maligned in this part of the world; hence I am an advocate of gender equality. My hobbies are reading and listening to music. My best food is rice and plantain.

Inspiration behind Morna International Children’s Foundation
I have always wanted to work with children, orphans and destitute. I never knew I would start, when I did, as I thought I would wait till I was well advanced in age. But as fate would have it, I started earlier than planned. I believe for a better Nigeria and the world at large, we must focus on children. My vision is to build a world, where children are respected and protected from any form of abuse.
Project and activities

Two years ago, Morna International Children’s Foundation (MICF) got its certificate of incorporation from Corporate Affairs Commission of Federal Republic of Nigeria. In the past two years, we have reached out to over 60 nursery, primary and secondary schools within and outside our community. We have also attended numerous P.T.A meetings, where we talked to parents on prevention of Child Sexual Abuse.

We take our campaigns to churches, as well as Arabic schools and are actively engrossed in rallies to further spread our message on child abuse. We also tell children about their rights. We empower them with the knowledge of their fundamental human rights. We have participated in international programmes, such as International Day of the girl-child, 19 days of Activism towards World Day for prevention of Child Abuse. The Child Abuse awareness month, which is April, has taken us to the market community for our campaign.

War against Child Abuse
This is a project, which we just want to start. We want to start a quarterly aggressive campaign against Child Abuse in our community, beyond which we will spread across every state in Nigeria.

Never felt like giving up
I have never felt like giving up. This is because, when I set out to do something, I keep going, no matter what. I hardly get discouraged over anything; talk less of something I have a passion for. Whatever I get discouraged at, there is most likely no other way out of such a thing. I can never give up on this cause. However, I make sure I do away with negative people, who try to discourage me directly or indirectly.

Positive feedbacks
This question is very difficult for me to answer because this work is more about giving and not expecting any form of reward. I mean that you are not focused on reward, but the work. However, I can say that my reward comes in the form of encouragement and positive words. I also receive phone calls from people I don’t know, thanking me tremendously for the campaigns we do in schools, and rallies. In other words, whenever I get feedback, most especially from people I don’t know or people that recognise me from events, where I spoke and I hear their remarks, I am always encouraged. These kinds of reactions are priceless to me. These are what I consider my reward.

Lack of funds and passionate people
Lack of fund is a major challenge I am facing in this work. It can exterminate one’s vision, no matter how passionate you are about your cause. NGOs are not intended for profit making, yet you must spend money on programmes and you also pay volunteers some stipend. You pay for office space and bills attached. You pay for running costs. You just can’t do without money.

Another challenge I am facing is getting passionate people, who are ready to work without money as their focus. We know we must pay our staff and volunteers, but that should not be their motivation.

Determination
My advice to anyone wanting to go into any form of business or humanitarian work is that they should follow their passion vigorously and be determined to succeed and add value. Determination is very crucial in whatever one wants to do. Without determination, you will get discouraged easily. Be determined and make a difference! An Entrepreneur must also be ready to go the “extra mile” for his or her clients.

An exceptional woman of rubies
I am a very zealous woman, strong-minded, a go-getter and very focused. I’m a high-flier and I work self-sacrificingly. I can accomplish anything I want to. I believe I can do what has been established as impossible! I also try to be a motivator to other people, young and adults. I am someone, who concentrates on the positive side of people.