By Sarah Stephen
I wish we talked more openly about the vulnerability of our 40s and the financial weight that comes with it. The pull is great, and it can be volatile. We are in the sandwich generation, and many of us worry all the time; it feels like the perfect storm. While we’re encouraged to plan for retirement, nobody seems to consider the possibility of losing everything we’ve built during this decade, as some questions aren’t easy to raise.
We must have honest and inclusive conversations about planning for our future, keeping our numbers in mind, especially as we navigate our 40s. Our children need us more than ever emotionally, academically, and financially. My eldest has already outgrown the kids’ menu, just to add a bit of humor. Our parents are aging, and in many cultures, we are seen as their retirement plan.
We are expected to care for them and our children simultaneously while still showing up at work as if nothing is happening. We try to maintain an income that is already not enough to go around, and many of us are inadequately prepared for any financial incidents while making life-altering decisions for parents who cared for us and now lean on us more than ever.
We talk to our children about money and planning for the future, but shouldn’t we also have the same conversation with our parents? These discussions about money shouldn’t just focus on worst-case scenarios, though in some cultures, money remains a taboo subject. Instead, they should help our parents feel secure and seen while ensuring their voice guides every decision.
We need to address their confidence about the future and whether they have sufficient resources for retirement, especially if things go wrong. It’s an opportunity for everyone to be on the same page, as we often don’t know the full picture of our parents’ finances until there’s a crisis. Women often bear the brunt of this burden, which can lead to the depletion of their resources and savings.
Patience through compounding may have been the strategy for our retirement, but reality often whispers a different story when our parents, who birthed our sense of self, did not plan for their future. This creates a terrifying dilemma, and our goals can shift unexpectedly. Having this dialogue with them as part of our financial plan can help avoid confusion and uncertainty later on.
Financial plans are not just spreadsheets, there are people, health, dreams, and lives behind them. Expectations will be clear, the numbers will be checked, and provisions will be made to ensure nothing important is overlooked because everyone deserves to live well. Financial stability brings mental peace; it is not vanity but rather a necessity. Maturity requires having difficult conversations, which may sometimes feel emotional.
Our 40s should be our prime years. Yet, for too many of us, this is when we quietly start to fall apart due to life’s challenges, divorce, illness, and more that we simply didn’t account for in our plans, a brutal awakening. So, know your numbers, because guessing is not a strategy, life doesn’t always follow the script.
Sarah Stephen is a Luxury Real Estate Advisor advocating for women’s financial freedom.
